(First things first: You only have until 12:01AM Saturday morning to get your comment in for the fabulous quilt give away! Nothing else like it in the world! Do it now!)
Since the beginning of the "Movement of Self-Awareness" (at least, that's what I call it), TV has become the public foe and secret friend of parents everywhere.
(I still find the irony funny that you weren't giving your infant the head start they needed if you didn't buy "Baby Einstein" DVD's in the 90's. Now, you're rotting their brains if you place them in their bouncy seats for a half hour or classical music and bright colors.)
The American Academy of Pediatrics has been telling parents to reduce TV time for their kids or else their kids will have more problems behaviorally, academically, and physically. (Of course their studies were based on homes where 2/3 of the children involved had TV sets in their own rooms.) The study said to get the kids outside. Play more. Interact with others more. Yeah, I can jive with that.
But, (And everyone has one.)
When did this reduction of TV time hit the other extreme and become the taboo subject among parents? Now, it seems the less TV you allow, the better a parent you are. (Or maybe that's just the way I've been reading it and this entire post is just a reaction of my overly sensitive defense mechanism. There's that too..)
When I tune into a blog these days, the biggies and the not-so-biggies, parents will talk about their child's favorite shows, but follow this information up with the disclaimer chaser "but we only let her watch about 30 minutes a day" or "he gets one cartoon segment and then the set goes off" or "my little Billy has never seen a commercial in his life!". There are alsothose parents who proclaim proudly that they don't even have a TV. (I'd be driving by their house to look for evidence of a satellite dish to back that statement up, but that's just me.) I admire these folks, sincerely I do. But I have a hard time believing things are as strictly enforced as they're saying.
Therefore I am going to lay my life(style) on the line. Here is my admission on TV time for Sprite:
On the way to daycare, her DVD player gets turned on. Why? Morning rush hour is hard enough without a screaming toddler demanding a cheese stick every five seconds. (Yeah, the cheese stick thing. For some reason, the kid likes cheese, especially in stick form. Dairy Counsel has nothing to worry about when it comes to her daily milk ingestion.) It's easier for me to focus on the crazies around me rather than the potential crazy in my backseat as I navigate the road, my coffee cup, my breakfast, my phone, my iPod, my reading, and my cat. (I kid!)( I don't have a cat.) TV time: 30 minutes.
On the way home, I sometimes try to engage her in conversation as I encounter the same crazies again, only this time they've all been through as hectic a day as I have, their blood sugar levels are a little more precarious, and their attitudes a little less forgiving. Our talking lasts about a minute before she throws another cheese stick demand into the front seat. (Oh, and sometimes? She'll switch it up and ask for a cookie! Keeps me on my toes, that one!) On the DVD goes. What's playing? Eh, Curious George, Cinderella, Leapfrog educational DVD that ended up in our collection somehow and is actually kinda cute, whatever seems to be playing. TV time: 45-60 minutes. (If everyone would get the hell out of my way, that time would be much lower, but I don't think the excuse of reducing my daughter's TV time would hold up for running a red light... Should I try it?)
Once we get home, dinner needs to be made. (Or nuked. Most likely nuked.) (See? I'm being honest.)The TV goes on and Imagination Movers or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse get pulled from our DVR's memory to distract her so I can let the dogs out, work my way around the kitchen, and maybe switch a load of laundry out. Granted, her attention does not stay on the show after a few minutes. She generally loses interest and wanders into her room, hunts for Blue or Harry, or tries to scale the kitchen cabinets, so TV time: 30 minutes, give or take 25 minutes. (You think I'm going to count the parts where she's in her room or interrogating a canine? Pfft!)
My big rule with the TV? When dinner is on the table, the set is either off or the show is paused. John is usually still at work during dinner time on the weekdays, so this is the one rule I keep. It's hard enough to keep Sprite's attention on the meal when dogs are looking for a handout or she thinks dipping her fingers in her milk cup and then sucking the drips off her fingers is just the COOLEST THING EVER I BET SHE LEARNED THAT AT DAYCARE!, so why do I want to compete against Mickey instructing us to count ducks while I readdress our latest discussion on "Green Beans: Good for the mouth, not for the floor"?
Sometimes, on those days where my energy level is low, and dinner only makes me more tired, I will cave in (after the meal is done and the clean up crew is working) to a request for Sleeping Beauty. TV time: roughly 30 minutes.
Our weekends are a crap shoot. Sometimes, our schedule is so jam packed with park trips, visiting relatives (both here and elsewhere), play dates, and errands that the TV never gets a first glance. Sometimes, we have nothing but time on our hands and decide a Disney movie is just what we need to start the day off. It varies.
So there you have it. My two year old gets about two and a half hours worth of exposure to the demon tube in a day's time. (I'm even being generous with the parts of the day where it's just on, whether or not she's focused on it.) The recommended guideline for children and TV says it should be an hour per year or under two hours total. Result: I fail.
I still consider myself to be a good mom. I color with her, play with her, talk to her, and read to her almost every night. She hates to see me leave her in the mornings, hugs me tight when I pick her up, and even grants me kisses once in a while.
Am I mother of the year? Hell, no. I don't even think I'm registered to vote in that election. But the fact that I let my daughter get some time in front of the electronic babysitter shouldn't have other parents reaching for their soapboxes to add some height to their scorn for my decisions on how much TV my child is allowed to see.
I've been wanting to address this for a while. The final straw came for me when I was approached by another mother at Sprite's daycare who thought it was so cute that Sprite liked to sing "Once Upon a Dream" from her favorite Disney flick, but expressed some concern that maybe Sprite was watching it too much since she seemed to know the words so much better than a two year old should. It took all the control I had to reign my snark in, even though my answer would have shut her barely disguised criticism down quickly. This mother did not know that Sprite happens to like the song so much because John and I sing it to her often (not because we're brainwashing her with repeated showings until she knows the stupid movie word for word) and I really didn't feel the need to explain myself or my parenting skills. Although I could have easily slipped it in when Sprite came up to me right then and demanded, "Mommy! Sing 'I know you'!"
I know I'm not alone in this. I know there are moms and dads out there who allow more TV time than we do. I know there are those who allow less. I want confessions. I don't want "Here's what you should do" and "Here's what you're doing wrong", I want an honest answer on how much TV you allow for your kid(s). Just be honest. Get it off your chest. And if you don't have kids, how much TV do you allow for yourself?
How do you HONESTLY feel about it? Should it be less? Maybe more?
Maybe, again, I'm just reading way too much into this. Or maybe I'm just in love with the word "honestly" today. Could I have peppered this post any more liberally with it?
And hey! Today marks 365 days of posting! I think I may take Sunday off!