Transparency

I don't think she knows.

John had sat her down and told her in terms a five year old can understand, but, to me, at least, the words aren't registering.

"Come on, Sprite. We have to get you to school." She's coming with me, in an effort to save gas, miles on one of the cars, while John is at home, searching for employment, looking for ways to bring us back to where we need to be.

"And Daddy is going to work?"

"Daddy is looking for work, so that's kind of like a job."

A full time job with mandatory overtime. The only compensation is relief when an actual position comes along.

Eight days have passed since he called me with the bad news. Our daily routines are skewed completely, each morning and evening planned minutes before execution to save on time, energy, money.

Conversations are hushed and urgent, his upbeat attitude trying to keep my natural tendency to STRESS OUT afloat in the murky atmosphere of uncertainty. Some things are discussed in front of Sprite, some things behind a closed door. We want her to see how we handle this together, but when it comes to bills and planning each upcoming paycheck, well, I'd rather fill her head with puppies and rainbows and those stupid FurReal Dizzy Dancers she keeps asking for every time a commercial flashes by during her cartoon.

(She's asked in advance for an Easter present. Being that we've never given her one before, this is a first, however, it still stung when I thought about how, even if I didn't want to get her one, I actually can't right now since it doesn't qualify as a necessity.)

How much of this is filtering through?

Thinking back to the last few months where everything was smooth sailing, life was zen, my worst issue was trying to beat the hunger to lunch time, fretting over how much free time my evenings would allot ME when the child was done with her demands.

We've sailed into rough seas now, and the worst part about it is the unknown. I've never been friends with surprises. I was actually proud of myself for holding it together the first night. But when I received news that my good friend's husband had also been laid off the very next day, I lost it. I cried into John's shoulder, giving in to the pity I had felt sitting on my own.

We're standing strong together, John and I. We make a great team. I've always known that, especially when we became parents. He's looking. Hard. Going after every lead he can. The support and words of encouragement he's received from family, friends, co-workers, and clients have been bolstering, welcome to us. 

We know what our goals are, we know what our resources are. We will make it through this like so many American families are doing right now.

 

Comments

[Jan]

Ahhhh, I'd wondered about your uncharacteristic silence lately. Jen, I am so sorry, and hope finds a good job very, very soon. Much love to you all!

[VandyJ]

I am so sorry. It really does rattle you when something like this happens. I know, I've been there. Just keep in mind that it always works out.

[Dawn]

Oh geez, I'm so sorry. I hope that something breaks free soon for him and that the stress can ease. I'll keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers.

[Kristi]

My 5yo understood it very well, although it was coached in terms of "Do you want Papa to stay home with you during the day, while Mama goes to work?" and it was very YES YES YES.

It will be okay as long as John gets to work at submitting his resume and pounding the pavement. I do want to say though...

TRY not to stress for HIM. It is a HUGE ego blow to loose your job, especially for men. They always feel like they are the provider. So be supportive for him and let him work through his own feelings because he will be feeling EXTREMELY upset.

Good luck. For us, it worked out very well. I know it is a different situation though. My girl friend's hubby lost his job and he was out for 6 months but finally started a new job last week! And the economy IS getting better. John might find something more fun that also pays better. You never know! He sounds like a smartie!

[Michele]

We've been down this road and while it is hard it is also strengthening. John has a great skill set so I have no doubt something will come up. Networking is one of the best job producers. So let the news go out that John is looking for a new challenge.

I have to agree with Kristi about being there for him and that men have a hard time with this because a lot of who they are is wrapped up in their ability to provide.

[Alaina]

oh wow, I am so sorry...we are praying for you guys! John will find something soon, I have no doubt. Sending positive thoughts your way...

[Ginny Marie]

Oh, man! That stinks. I was laid off once, and it was really painful. I hope John finds something soon! Hang in there.

[Stacy Uncorked]

Ohhhh no! I'm so sorry - I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully John will find something amazing soon. Meanwhile, if it's OK with you two, I would love to send Sprite something for Easter - just say the word and consider it done! ((HUGZ!!))

[Peg]

WOW... I am SO sorry. I well know this scenario far too well. That was one reason we decided to bite the bullet and do what Dwight has always wanted to do...open his own restaurant and come hell or high water we will make it happen. He (we) are so tired of depending on OTHER people's whims and demands and we aren't getting any younger. It's kinda now or never. I do hope he finds something soon! Love and hugs to you all!

[amy]

Oh man, that really sucks. Fingers crossed for you guys.

[Rachel]

We'll all get through it. And we have awesome husbands, we just need other people to catch on to that. Preferably in a hurry. HUGS!!!

[Captain Dumbass]

That sucks. Good luck, John.

[Kendra]

Keeping happy thoughts for you! We've been through a layoff as well and it sucks but we got through it and I know you guys will too! Good luck!

[Patty]

Oh, crap! This sucks so much. I am so sorry! I hope John finds a job really quickly--a good, good job that he loves!