I find it funny that my dad has commented on my blog maybe a handful of times in the over three years I've been writing it, yet asked me why I haven't written a Random Tuesday Thoughts in so long. Of course, my answer of "busy/child/work/sleep/zombie watching" is a standard reply, but for him, and you, I will eek one out today.
It may be half-assed, unlike all of my other brilliant work that appears in the archives. (Just trust me on that, don't actually go back and read, we'll never hear from you again..)
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It bears repeating: Unless you are currently filming a reality show (If you do not know whether or not you are in contract with a reality show, please look in your immediate vicinity for cameras and boom mikes. No camera equals no reality show.), any time you use the speaker option on your cell phone, it only amplifies to others how obnoxious you are.
This can also apply to vehicles that back into parking spaces or take up two spaces at once, but only to those whose rims are more than 20", cuz now you're just asking for attention.
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Any time your child speaks up with "I have an idea!" complete with pointer finger raised, it will end in "I'm sleeping in your bed tonight."
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I dislike discussing politics/current affairs/religion/anything with people who don't know what they're arguing for because then it feels like I'm trying to sell what I believe in and they just look ignorant.
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We traveled on Sunday to see our families for the day, resulting in a long ride uphill through the snow both ways. A very late lunch followed by a two hour nap in the car on the ride home, resulted in a very awake Sprite at 9PM. I had given her a cheese stick since dinner would sit too heavily in her stomach and some water, then made myself a pseudo grilled cheese sandwich (I stole some of Sprite's bread and some of John's 75% fat free cheddar, Cabot brand, really good!) since my own stomach didn't care about heartburn at 2 in the morning.
Upon finishing the preparation, I was greeted by my daughter who had proclaimed for all not even ten minutes earlier that she wasn't hungry and a cheese stick was the perfect ending to her day. "What's on your plate, Mommy?"
I sighed, knowing what was coming, listening to John snicker behind me. "A cheese sandwich."
"Can I see?" She smiled.
I lowered the plate for her inspection.
"Oh, my! That looks VERY yummy! I bet it tastes good." She rolled her hand over her midection. "That would make my tummy very happy."
I split the damn sandwich with her.
This is why I wait until she goes to bed before I break out the Smart Ones desserts.
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Sprite is loving jokes these days. A few are just plain groan worthy, but most have stumped me, and her, since she doesn't remember the answer:
"When is a banana not a banana?"
Honestly, I've asked her teachers, other parents of kids she hangs with, I want to know this answer. Google hasn't brought anything up other than the history behind nature's phallic symbol and it's no help. Finally, I've resorted to making my own answer:
"When it's lost its a-peel."
Now, it's over HER head, but at least I'm satisfied.
Another joke she loves to repeat:
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Peach."
"Peach who?"
"Peach Sprite!"
Um, yeah.
I have been teaching her the chicken jokes though and we like to build onto them:
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"To get to the other side."
"Why did the kid cross the playground?"
"To get to the other slide."
"Why did the turtle cross the ocean?"
"To get to the other tide."
"Why did Sprite run across Disney World?"
"To get to the next ride."
Do you have any you could think of to add to this -ide anthology? I would love to hear it and Sprite would love to add it to her growing list of laughs.
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Okay, so maybe this RTT is 3/4 assed, therefore more than I promised you, less than I should have delivered.
So I will deliver you over to Stacy who is currently carrying the wine glass torch for RTT in honor of Keely who is currently holding a mojito. Check out all the other randomizers and randomize something yourself. It's kind of like bedazzling, only not so...80's.
Have a great Tuesday, you all!
I remember well the food sharing with a small child. I don't think I ate a full meal for years. That and chasing after them kept me thin. Now, I wish I didn't eat a full meal and had someone to chase after. Meh, maybe not, it sounds tiring.
Posted by: Michele | July 12, 2011 at 05:53 AM
I'd have given her the whole sandwich and made myself another one, because I can't resist anyone, much less a child, who tells me "I'm hungry."
Yeah, I need to work more on this whole "relationship with food" thing...
Posted by: Jan | July 12, 2011 at 08:31 AM
I don't think I had a full meal either until Julie was 4. She still bugs to share a sandwich or something sometimes before bed as a stall tactic and she'll be 12 this year. LOL
Posted by: Kristine | July 12, 2011 at 08:37 AM
Why couldn't the egg cross Rt 95 in Florida? Cause in the middle, he fried!
Ok, over Sprite's head, but it was the best I could do on short notice.
I am using the "Mama's Plate Appeal" to my advantage this summer. I put all sorts of things I want the boys to try on my plate and not theirs. Then when they want it, I feel better! (if only I could get them to eat my spinach...)
Posted by: MamaBadger | July 12, 2011 at 08:46 AM
Princess Nagger gets that same plate envy sometimes - unless it happens to have vegetables, then she just rolls her eyes and helps herself to a slice of bologna. ;)
The only PN joke that came to my head is:
"Say hi to your knee!" (hiney) ;)
So glad to see you joining the rebellion today! :)
Posted by: Stacy Uncorked | July 12, 2011 at 09:11 AM
I love kids' ideas of what's funny. As long is it makes them happy... I'm good. :) Happy RTT.
Posted by: Claire | July 12, 2011 at 09:43 AM
I don't get out ice cream until both boys are in bed. I don't like sharing.
Posted by: VandyJ | July 12, 2011 at 09:52 AM
I back into parking spaces! Because when I park front in...when I back out I can't see the jerks that race around the corner or the fast one who don't like to slow down to let anyone out! It was nice seeing sprite on Sunday. And your father hasen't stopped talking about you in-law's place!
Posted by: Baba | July 12, 2011 at 10:05 AM
It was such a happy surprise to see I had posts from you waiting in my Google reader...more than your normal scheduled...if you want to hear more of what makes me happy you'll have to check with me on Thursday! ;)
These were great laughs, thanks! And the jokes, attempting to find reasons to sleep with us, and stealing our food is happening at our house and I'm just so happy to hear I'm not the only one!
Posted by: Kate | July 12, 2011 at 07:09 PM
Thanks! Dad
Posted by: Dad | July 12, 2011 at 07:34 PM
I hate food sharing. The hubby does it way more than I do. I think Leo asks him because he knows his dad is a sucker to share his food!
Posted by: Kendra | July 12, 2011 at 08:03 PM
I loved what you said about discussing politics etc. I find that true as well as discussing these and similar topics with people who are closed minded. It's all about widening our perspectives, and, if not agreeing with others, at least trying to understand their opinions. Not a lot of respect for that in this country these days.
Posted by: Pseudo | July 12, 2011 at 09:36 PM
I had to come back and share this story from tonight. So we promised Finn a "treat" if he ate a good supper because we're bad parents like that and eating is very low on his list of priorities. We each had a bowl of ice cream and Finn inhaled his and then he climbs up next to me, all cute and cuddly. "I share wif you now?" So he gets every other bite. When we finish my bowl, he hops over to Josh and asks very sweetly if he can share with him, which he does. As far as I can calculate, he ate 2 3/4 bowls of ice cream out of 3. Something is very wrong with this picture. Thought it might give you a giggle, so I thought I'd share! :)
Posted by: Kate | July 12, 2011 at 10:44 PM
We getting a lot of completely silly jokes in our house too! I love when they start experimenting with humor.
Posted by: K | July 13, 2011 at 01:23 PM
The only jokes I have now are fart ones. That's all my kids talk about lately.
Posted by: Patty | July 13, 2011 at 09:26 PM
That is hilarious that your dad is urging you to post.
Kids are like vultures.. luckily, mine believe me when I tell them whatever (I don't want them to have) has gluten in it. Phew.
Knock knock jokes are big around these parts too, usually by Elliot and hers go like this:
Knock knock.
(who's there?)
POOPY DIAPER POOPY DIAPER.
Followed by bouts of laughter (thanks, Jamie, for teaching her that one). Grrr.
Posted by: Casey | July 14, 2011 at 08:26 AM