I bought almonds on a B1G1 a few weeks back at Publix. If you don't know what a B1G1 is, I'm ashamed for you. Realizing that we had yet to open them, I popped one of those suckers wide yesterday while waiting for the raw chicken in the oven to become less poisonous and more palatable. Palming a couple, I deposited them right into my mouth. Only to spit them back out immediately. They tasted terrible. I looked at the container for the warning, "May taste terrible", didn't find it. Instead, I focused on the actual name of the almonds, Dry Roasted. Silly me. I had thought dry roasted meant plain almonds, not dump a crapload of salt lick onto a single nut and call it food. Trying them just once more, I found that I was able to eat some without the necessary spittoon once I got used to the taste of bile.
What? I was hungry.
Is it just me or does anyone else look forward all year to turkey at Thanksgiving only to sit down to the bird and realize you have a strong hankering for lasagna?
Right. The leftovers in your fridge aren't helping your case..
Black Friday this year ended up being unlike any other I've ever participated in before. Reasons why:
My mother slept sat this one out. (She wasn't feeling too well on Thanksgiving so I didn't bother setting an alarm for her this year.)
John joined me. Or almost.
Our dishwasher crapped out on Thanksgiving morning, a wimpy thing to do especially since it wasn't even on call for the dinner rush. I only opened the damn thing to run a pot of coffee before we loaded up the van and drove East to put a dent in someone else's spread. Seeing the water sitting in the bottom of the tub meant the fuse that had gone at least six times prior in this appliance's lifespan had taken the plunge AGAIN during the rinse cycle during Wednesday evening's clean up. Calling John over to second the notion that it needed a good kicking, we agreed that while we had gotten all the bang out of the warranty's buck, the five year warranty was also set to expire at the end of THIS MONTH.
(Although it did generate a buttload of family member's comments on how their dishwasher is going on thirty-one years without a single hiccup. Don't you love those stories that only seem to come out of the woodwork when you're about to fork over your emergency fund to replace an appliance?)
Cue the Black Friday sales!
Camped out on the floor of my aunt's living room, we combed the papers, finding Home Depot to have a pretty sweet deal on Maytag washers, the code word being Maytag. (A plumber friend of John's had told him Maytag is the best brand and John is willing to pay the premium for it.) John gamely agreed to join my aunt, cousin, and me for the early morning sales (2 AM curtain call) before standing in line for the Home Depot to open at 5 AM and then he would abandon us for the airbed in my old bedroom.
We quickly found a willing babysitter in my mother-in-law, who gladly took the kid on for the night while we retreated to my parents' home for some downtime before venturing out into the dark streets. Only..
I noticed in Home Depot's ad that their Black Friday sale was also online as of 12:01AM. John immediately logged on, and twenty minutes later secured us a dishwasher delivery for next Monday at the sale price, staying up long enough to make sure that I woke up at 1:30 before begging off the adventure and commandeering the bed for himself.
No worries. I was done with shopping by 8 AM and kicking his butt out of bed to go bond with Sprite and his mother for the day so I could make linen angels on my own for a while.
(Hey John? Waking me up at two in the afternoon to a house full of visitors and presents that hadn't yet been hidden? NOT COOL.)
Black Friday epiphany: men will typically try to sell others on a purchase they make. ("You've got to hear about the DVD player I bought, it will clean itself after every run!" "I love these shoes. They really absorb the shock from the impact." "A great thing about my car? Check out the brakes! Ooh. I should have warned you to not drink your coffee just then. Another great thing about my car? Stain resistant seats!") Women will typically try to sell themselves on a purchase they make. ("I don't know. It's a great price, but JC Penny is running them for a few dollars less." "The color is perfect, but I should check the return policy before committing." "Should I buy it? Let me ask someone else for an opinion." "I can afford it, but do I need it?" "Wow! The price is less than I thought! Okay, I feel good about this!")
At least Keely doesn't have to worry about the leftovers in her fridge. (Her Thanksgiving was last month. However, if she hasn't cleaned her fridge in a while, she's basically sitting in the same gravy boat that we are...) Go say hi. And bring Tums.