Sprite's Keeper

Spooky Cycle: Can your kid spell Halloween? MINE CAN.

Yeah, I was totally bragging, but dude, it's true!

My three year old knows how to spell Halloween.

Every year around this time, I dust off the ole' vocal chords and sing my Halloween favorites to Sprite, who, until a few weeks ago, could have cared less about them. But now that she's into the Halloween spirit, every day's drive home includes a few renditions of each song, which she will sing for you now.

(I may have chimed in a time or two, and yes, my facial expressions show when she makes a mistake or doesn't open her mouth enough to ENUNCIATE, oh my God, my Chorus teacher's screaming tirades are coming back to haunt me AND MY CHILD, but this is only because I am an anal retentive perfectionist who needs to show the world she is aware of flaws. But Sprite didn't see it! You did, but you won't tell her, right?)

(Also, look in the reflection of the mirror behind us to see Mr. Videographer making a few motions of his own as if his silent prompts would help Sprite seeing as she's learning how to read lips and all...) (Really, he was a great sport who not only stopped working on a project to help us record it, but also took the time to splice it all together and give you a kitchy intro and ending. I owe him.) (He knows this.)

Here we go with Sprite singing for you, "The Haunted House" song! (With bonus track! You too can teach your preschooler to spell Halloween, which will wow the other kids and make the teacher consider him for the fast track program! Until he sticks a single Lego up his nose, but you can totally write that off as quirky..)

   

 Also, after listening to the bonus track, I noticed that it may be a little difficult to understand Sprite so let me spell it out for you phonetically, "H-A-Double L-O-W-Double E-N spells Halloween!"

Of course, I'm going to ask someone to please let me know in the comments section if the video works. Just need one answer, but I still don't trust myself to plug these things in right..

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It's all treats, no tricks for these Spooky Spinners! 

Pseudo over at Winds of Change...

Michele over at It's A Dog's Life

SuziCate over at The Water Witch's Daughter

Gretchen over at Second Blooming

Jae over at Stinky Angels

Alaina over at View from Down Here

Kendra over at Life in the Slow Lane

Keely over at The Un Mom

Peg over at Square Peg in a Round Hole -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Vandy over at The Testosterone Three and Me -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

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Next Week's Spin Cycle: Halloween Show and Tell!

We're keeping this Spooky train going! Have some pictures of your cuties running door to door? Post them up! Have a funny story about a party you went to? Let's hear it!

(Also, next week is Election Week and that's scary on it's own. If I hear one more candidate slam another in an ad, I WILL scream..)

Have a happy and safe Halloween everyone!

Tick Tock

"She's asking for you." John comes into our room, beelining for the bed, his way of saying, "your turn now. I'm spent."

He's read her a book, said the good nights, what more could there be?

I walk over to her door, peek my head in. "What's your boggle?"

She's sitting up, surrounded by a number of pillows, stuffed animals, and whatever else she's decided should escort her off into dream land. She looks so innocent, the complete polar opposite of the whiny, crying, complaining "This can't be my child!" imposter we've been exposed to all afternoon. "I'm afraid."

Okay, I'll bite. I venture in, sitting down beside her on the bed. "What are you afraid of?"

Her eyes travel the room, giving me a few moments to enjoy her challenge of coming up with a formidable fear. "Um.... the clock."

Looking up to the simple white Walmart timepiece, bought so many years ago, which has been sitting, ignored and not working for a couple of years now, on her wall, I have to laugh. "The CLOCK?"

Her eyes are rimmed in red, evidence of a missed nap and an overworked attitude, and she's not getting the reaction she wants, or the answer she wants more. "Bed? No, we don't need a bedtime. Let's see if we can Hulu you a Dora episode or something."

"Are you sure it's the clock you're afraid of?"

Her head dips down in confirmation. "I don't like it."

Okay then. I rise, lift her just named foe from it's location and dispatch it from her presence. "Clock is gone. Good night."

Closing her door, I place the clock down on her art table. John is standing at the sink, watching. "What did she want?"

"The clock scared her."

"The clock-"

"Mommy!"

"What?" I call back.

"I want the clock!"

I close my eyes, smiling in irony. When I open them again, John's mouth is gaping open. "Is she serious?"

Shrugging, I turn back and return the now forgiven clock to her room.

"It's not working," she complains while I'm trying (and failing) to reconnect it with the nail on the wall.

"Sprite-"

"It's not moving to twelve." She's right. The clock has been stuck on ten forty since 2007. "If it doesn't work, then it won't be morning."

Oh, how those little minds work! But knowing that replacing the battery will be much quicker than explaining that time will continue to march forward no matter what the clock does, I acquiesce and remove it from the wall once more.

Once in the kitchen, I grab a double A and turn the piece over. The original battery is sitting exposed, and crusty with corrosion. This is one clock that will never get it right more than twice a day ever again.

"You're right, Sprite," I say, returning to her room sans clock, "it's broken." Spying her little Sleeping Beauty alarm clock that she was given a while back, I pick it up from her dresser. "How about this one? I'll replace the battery-"

"Yes, Mommy, that one. Put it on the wall."

Er, okay.

Draping the pink arch that connects the bells over the nail, the clock rests suspended, an awkward replacement for it's less Disney branded predecessor.

"Much better." She snuggles into her pillow, happy with the results, however ill fit they may be.

Closing the door once more, I return to my room, noting on the working digital clock that this took thirty minutes to resolve.

The irony isn't lost on me.

SpOOOky Cycle: Trick or Treat?

Our first Halloween Spinner is in!

Pseudo over at Winds of Change...

Michele over at It's A Dog's Life

SuziCate over at The Water Witch's Daughter -Updated Tuesday!

Gretchen over at Second Blooming -Updated Wednesday!

Jae over at Stinky Angels -Updated Wednesday!

Alaina over at View from Down Here -Updated Thursday!

Kendra over at Life in the Slow Lane -Updated Thursday!

Keely over at The Un Mom -Updated Thursday!

You have until Friday to get those Halloween Spins in, but those who want to wait until Halloween or are doing a post-op, have no fear! We will extend the deadline for you hallowed souls...

Happy haunting...

The funny part is, she thinks SHE'S teaching it..

"So, what are you going to do today in school, Sprite?"

"Mommy, the light is red. You should stop."

"We are stopped."

"And when it's green, you should go."

"Gotcha. And how about you? What are your plans today?"

"I'm going to see Ms. Nicole and Kayla and JackJack and Kylie and have class."

"Do you know what you're doing in class today?"

"Princess Karate."

"Karate?"

"No, PRINCESS Karate."

"What do you do in Princess Karate?"

"You kick with your foot like this. And you hit the board and say 'Hiya!' "

"Really."

"And you have a belt."

"And which belt do you have?"

"Um, a Snow White belt."

"Huh. And what's the highest belt you can have?"

"Um, Ariel."

"I see. And who's the teacher of Princess Karate?"

"I am."

I guess that means the lessons are free?

Spin Cycle: You would think that with the number of times this test has been given, we would have a cheat sheet by now..

A couple of instances popped over the course of my mother's-in-law visit while John is out of town on business where Sprite completely disregarded any instructions I gave her, instructions that were repeated, instructions that were met with a squinty stare and a resolute "No!", instructions that resulted in her tongue finding its punk way out of her punk mouth to flip me the preschool version of the bird.

Sure, this is normal for Sprite or any kid under the age of "weeklong groundings" to try to pull rank whenever they can, pushing boundaries, limits, especially parental buttons which are flashing burgundy by that point, but it felt like she was showing off for Ingrid, as in "See what I can do? See how red Mommy's face gets when I don't listen? What can I say? It's a gift."

Here's the part where my mom will come in on the comments section and proclaim that I did it too, evil child that I was. (And sometimes I tell people Sprite is a little bit evil too, just a little. It's only a word, folks.)

Guess what, Mom?

WE ALL DID IT.

I know I pulled some stunts to show people how I could keep my mom in check. (I also know that she could have cared less about saving face with anyone before handing down her answer. You would think I'd have learned from that after the first few times. Apparently, neither will Sprite.)

I hated the spectacle we became when Sprite refused to listen, smiling in defiance, her brown eyes blazing with challenge, because I felt this would reflect upon me with Ingrid, a woman who does not get to see my parenting skills on a daily basis due to how far we live from one another, who loves Sprite with the same passion that she showers upon her own sons, who will repeat the same random nonsense over and over and I need to leave the room, it's so repetitious, only because it sends Sprite into hysterics, who would never let anything befall her eldest granddaughter.

I felt like my response to Sprite's blatant disregard for parental authority would be judged.

Until I looked up at Ingrid during one such confrontation and caught her smile.

That sympathetic smile that accompanied a wink, telling me she understood what I was going through, she had been there herself, that it was okay to be upset with this pint-size piece of perfection in her eyes, even talk sternly to her, toss her into time out, TAKE AWAY POSSESSIONS.

She's been through it with her own children, four times over. My own mother had been through it with my sister and me. I'm currently going through it with Sprite and I know Sprite will hike this increasingly familiar terrain when she becomes a parent in the future. (Kid, give it at least twenty years..)

Hopefully, by then, Sprite will have read this site, post by post, and will be prepared for when her little one turns on her with a gleam in her own eye (Yes, she will have a daughter. My mother cursed me, I might as well pass it on.) and a final foot stomp in defiance and she will handle her little girl in the same way that I handle her now.

Of course, seeing as she never listens, I'm not holding my breath..

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Gretchen over at Second Blooming

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs... -Collage/Then and Now Spin!

SuziCate over at The Water Witch's Daughter

Laufa over at Morgan Madness

Michele over at It's A Dog's Life

Vandy over at The Testosterone Three and Me

Square Peg in a Round Hole -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Patty over at Pancakes Gone Awry -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Heather over at Welch Happenings -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Alaina over at View from Down Here -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs... -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Stacy over at Stacy Uncorked -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

M.A.W. over at Unmitigated.... -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Ginger over at When Ginger Snaps... -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

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Next week's Spin Cycle Topic: HALLOWEEN!!

Trick-or-treating is right around the corner and Sprite and I have been practicing something special for you! (Unless she develops a huge case of stage fright, then I'll turn to Plan B.) (Does anyone have a Plan B I can borrow?)

This is the time to Spin up anything Halloween! If it's a ghost story, we're grinning for it. If it's a costume collage, we're curious to see it. If it's a Thanksgiving post, hit "Save" since I'm sure we'll hit that topic up in a few weeks then you can just phone it in..

 So, grab your Spookiest Spin and send it on in!

See you next Friday on the SPOOOOKY Cycle!

Not that I would ever do it, but sometimes I like to trip her up a bit..

"Mommy, why is Daddy in Georgia?"

"He's studying for his work."

"Oh.... Mommy?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I go to Georgia to be with Daddy?"

"Sorry, kiddo. The shipping rates would be astronomical."

 "No, not a ship. A plane. I can ride a plane."

She's not the only one getting tripped up..

Ladies and Gentlemen, my mother-in-law is a bad ass.

"Harry, come on. Outside."

He didn't budge from his impersonation of a rug.

"Harry, outside. Let's go."

Nothing.

I pulled on the sliding glass door handle, thinking the familiar beep of the alarm signaling an entry breach would raise him from his stupor.

It did. I watched as he walked over, and past me, on to where my mother-in-law Ingrid was sitting with Sprite in her bed, reading a story.

"Seriously?" I came over and scooped him up, forcing him for that last trip out so he wouldn't be bugging me at 4 in the morning like he had just 18 hours earlier. (John, PLEASE COME HOME. You usually handle this stuff.)

Blue joined us as I swept him out onto the patio and over to the screen door, not putting him down until I could pull the door closed behind him.

I stepped back, the slightly cool night air feeling great on my skin. I surveyed my surroundings, the patio set we bought when we first moved in and then maybe used a handful of times before Summer came and forced us inside then forgot about when the winter months came once more. I then looked over to the light yellow walls, the reflection of an interior light upon the South surface, the big black spider...

Oh, shit.

(John usually takes care of this stuff too..)

Bigger than my palm, it sat above the sliding glass doors, slightly to the left of where I had exited. And the only thoughts in my head were "how am I going to get in?" and "how am I going to kill it?"

Yes, dear readers. It must die. For if it doesn't, it will somehow get into my home and I won't find it until some inopportune moment when I'm most likely naked and then that's just offensive. To the spider.

I called to the dogs, who had disappeared into the dark abyss of our backyard, and were of course now ignoring me, preferring me to be the one lone companion from the arachnid of the night.

Finally, after a few curses and shouts of withholding milkbones for the next five years, they came trotting back, oblivious to the fact that I was currently jumping in place, as if the motion would somehow convince the spider that I was not worth messing with. Being that I was crazy, after all..

I whipped open the door, not daring to look at where the spider had skittered off to, waving to the stupid canines to come in as well. Of course, the normally eager to be indoors idiots were standing there watching me for other cues, like.... I would suddenly turn into a cat.

Barely missing Blue's tail, I shut the door once more and shuddered violently, not able to control the squeals.

Ingrid came out of Sprite's room, watching me with concern. "What's the matter?"

"There is a HUGE spider out there."

She brought her face close to the glass and looked out. "Oh, that one?"

I followed her finger to where it sat, smiling, (I think) on the south wall. "Yes."

She looked back at me. "You want me to kill it?"

My mouth opened wide. "You're not afraid?"

Her hand flicked out in confidence. "Nah. In Dominican Republic? THOSE were big spiders."

I brought her a broom and she tried to open the door. "You locked it?"

"Yes."

"Did you think the spider would be able to open the door?"

I shrugged, the hilarity of my defensive move just now striking me. "Well, with eight legs, it's only a matter of time before it figures it out."

She chuckled, heading out herself to battle the big bug who was now stradding a corner of the patio.

Moving a chair aside, showing no fear, she came closer to the spider, and brought the broom up for a beatdown.

It never stood a chance. Or stayed up on the wall.

Not only did she kill it in quick fashion, she even swept it out the screen door with the murder weapon.

While I stood inside, clapping for my hero(ine), not doing a thing to help the situation.

Have I mentioned how glad I am that she's here?

(John, come HOME!)

(We already know I'm a wuss folks. Repeating it would just be sad..)

Spin Cycle: You could go with then or you could go with now..

And we're starting now!

Gretchen over at Second Blooming

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs... -Collage/Then and Now Spin!

SuziCate over at The Water Witch's Daughter -Updated Wednesday!

Laufa over at Morgan Madness -Updated Thursday!

Michele over at It's A Dog's Life -Updated Thursday!

Vandy over at The Testosterone Three and Me -Updated Thursday!

Remember, the topic is "then and now". Maybe you're comparing politics, parenthood, or how pudding pops just don't taste the same now as they did then, even if the ingredients ARE the same, it's just the shape that changed, but that's enough to influence everything else... What?

 

I can do this.

I made my lunch last night. Got the coffee ready to perk this morning. (Don't know how to program it to auto-start at the designated time, but if it's set to the point of flipping the switch up? I'm good.) Sprite's clothes were laid out, yellow shirt for Yellow Day at school. (Not sure why that tradition started, and don't really see other parents sticking to it, but we're trying to look like we're at least paying attention so the teachers don't get quite as ornery when Sprite yells out "NEVAH!" in dramatic prose, she will, John taught her that little winner in great detail this weekend.) (One would think I'm the parent behind that, but the one I taught her was a little more shocking..)

I am so organized this morning, even my half minutes are timed to a task from the moment I stop hitting snooze (which may be the one loose track to derail this train since I am known to rock the sleep button until the very last second) to the last goodbye kiss from Sprite so I can continue on to work.

John left yesterday for a week long training session in Georgia. We saw him to the airport, waving him off until he disappeared past Security. I pointed out his airplane, which could be seen already pulling into his gate, to a very interested kid, who suddenly wanted more than anything to go on an "air-o-plane" with her father, only she didn't find his mode of transportation worthy. "No, we have to go on my plane. I have two color planes, Mommy. Cinderella and pink. Which one you want to go on?"

(I wasted a few of John's cell minutes recounting that little ditty. Yes, we're those parents. And since you read the Sprite-isms I deem worthy for this little site of mine, you're THOSE readers.)

Once we left, I made the rest of my day about getting everything ready for the week, lightening the load that Monday mornings invariably take on, if only to convince myself that I can do this. I've done this before. I can do this again. I can make my own breakfast. I can make Sprite's. I can make sure the dogs get walked, the lights get turned off, the alarm gets turned on, the kid gets to school, I get to work, we get through this week without John. Even if I'm almost skittish with longing for the weekend, for seeing him in Baggage Claim, for getting my bedmate back, for being able to tag out for a few when Sprite gets to be a little too.. Sprite for me.

I can do this. As long as I keep my head on straight, we should be fine. Single moms and dads do this all the time with nary a falter, I can cut the complaining for 6 days and join forces with time to make this happen.

I can do this.

(My mother-in-law comes tonight for a few days and my parents come at the end of the week.)

(Because I'm a wuss who likes her hand held.)

I can do this.

(No I can't.)

Spin Cycle: Strawberry Shorted

My mom and I share a running joke. Okay, maybe that's not quite the truth. My mom is the willing participant in my joke. Which may be stretching that statement a bit too.

How should I put this?

I steal stuff from her. 

But it's funny!

It all started in my early teens when I would steal sips from her water glass. Once I realized she wasn't really paying attention to what I was doing, it became a personal mission to finish her drink while she was otherwise involved either in conversation or talking to the server or in the restroom. Then she would reach for her cup and confusion would ensue until she caught on that it was me.

High hilarity, right?

As the years passed, this continued, intermittently of course, I had to keep her guessing. But honestly, I forgot about this until Sprite pulled one over on me right in front of my eyes, stealing the one thing that no one should EVER take from me. And I have photographic evidence:

 

 

 

Cute. But WRONG. This kid is not going to know an allowance until she's ready to file a W-4..

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Quality over quantity this week!

 Arwen over at Spors in the Desert

Peg over at Square Peg in a Round Hole

D. M. Wright over at D. M. Wright Books

Gretchen over at Second Blooming

Laufa over at Morgan Madness

Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar

Mrs. Bear over at Outnumbered Two To One -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

SuziCate over at The Water Witch's Daughter -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

the south dakota cowgirl over at The South Dakota Cowgirl -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Vandy over at The Testosterone Three and Me -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Tulpen over at Bad Words -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

 

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Next week's Spin Cycle: Then and Now

Ooh! Here's a broad topic! You can take it any way you want. You can compare parenthood, hairstyles, bread, politics, pies, the media, cakes, anything! (Why, yes, I've been limiting my carbs, why?)

Take what I did up there for instance! My collage was all about what I used to do to my mom and how it came back to slap me in the face with a side order of adorable! (Extra charge. Of course.)

See you next week on the Spin Cycle!