Spin Cycle: Making Much Ado About Nothing

It's the little things that set my stress-o-meter off.

The house isn't clean, the dirty dishes haven't been placed in the dishwasher, or worse, they have when the clean contents haven't been removed yet, schedules aren't kept, time isn't taken as seriously as it should be.

This is the stuff that makes my left eye twitch. (Not the right one for some reason..)

I am known as the Watch Keeper, the Clean Keeper, the Schedule Keeper in my home. John and Sprite gratefully give up any responsibility for these items as I seem only too happy to take them on.

I don't have much else to stress over in life as my job is a good one, sure I could stress about the amount of work, but I find it easier to step back and remind myself that no matter how hard or quickly I work, the amount will not go down. It's a fact and I can accept this. I don't stress about traffic unless some bozo doesn't watch and cuts a merge within an inch of my front bumper causing me to slam my brakes and my tongue to catch the curse that's dangling from the tip of it. (If the kid's not in the car, I am completely allowed and totally vindicated to let the words fly out.) After a few minutes of stewing, I typically let it go.

I don't stress about money since we're extremely controlled about how much we spend, where we spend it, and have an eagle eye on what goes in and out, therefore why stress? The red is going down, slowly but surely. As long as it continues the downward trend, I don't feel obligated to jump on it.

If you read between the lines of everything I've listed, you'll notice that most of my stress comes from control, or lack of it, when I'm trying to control it.

I can harp and nag and push John and Sprite all I want, but their internal clocks are not in tune with mine. John comes from a family who believes the clock is a suggestion more than a rule. (If you're ever invited to their home for a party that begins at 7, it doesn't usually crowd until 9. Not that it's wrong, just not what I'm used to.) I come from a family where we were typically early for events due to my father's insistence on getting out the door with time to spare. So, when I want to leave for Story Time which is on a Saturday morning, which typically begins at 11, which is about a thirty minute drive if you catch all green lights, and it's ten thirty and John is still getting ready, I stress.

About Story Time? Really, Jen?

Yes, really. Ask John. He'll confirm it and time-stamp it.

Sprite is the lesser of the two second stealing evils since I can prod her easily by threatening her with losing out on Goldfish, a movie, or even a ride in the blue car. (In fact, I use this threat every morning to get her out of bed. "Do you want to go in the grey car?" "NOOOO! I WANT THE BLUUUUE CARRRR!" With all the hysterics, you'd think John's car is lacking things like doors or air conditioning or even brakes, but we know the real reason is because the blue car has a DVD player. We're not stupid. Just weak.) But, even knowing that I'm dealing with two people who don't mean to make me late, or think they're doing me a favor when they bring a dish to the sink which doesn't quite make it in the basin before some of the milk that was sloshing around in the bowl is on the floor and "Oh, sweetie thank you so much for helping Mommy out what a big girl you are John get the mop."

Stress level up, so is my time, and now I have mere minutes to get the kid strapped in safely, and back down the driveway without hitting the neighbor's cat. (One of them. Or all of them. There are so many strays flocking to the house across the street, Sprite makes it a morning game to count them all as we're packing up the van.) (This also makes me late. And there goes that twitch again.)

I really need to come to terms with this control issue I have, especially over the small stuff. You know, get control, take control, and.. um..

I'm back to Square One, aren't I?

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Take the edge of your stress and chill out with these Spinners!

Peg over at Square Peg in a Round Hole

Suzicate over at The Water Witch's Daughter

Shelby over at Gen X Moms

Gretchen over at Second Blooming

Laufa over at Morgan Madness

Erin over at Only a Movie

Erin over at Servant to a King

Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Stacy's Random Thoughts -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Middle Aged Woman (M.A.W.) over at Unmitigated -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

The South Dakota Cowgirl over at The South Dakota Cowgirl -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Vandy over at The Testosterone Three and Me -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Julie over at Modern Day Middle Age -Updated Friday! Fresh Spin!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher -Updated Sunday! Really fresh Spin!

Don't you feel better now?

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Next Week's Spin Cycle: Prom!

OMG! It's Prom Season! The corsages! The boutonnieres! The dates! The ZITS. Is he gonna ask me or ACK, do I ask HIM?

Grab your photo albums, call your best friend, and Spin up your favorite memories of Prom!

The good, the bad, the polyester! It all works here! (I would have thought polyester pants weren't even made anymore, but someone proved me wrong a few days ago..)

Get your highest heels on over here by Friday, May 28th or you'll miss all the best songs.

Don't worry, I'll save a dance for you!

Comments

[Michele]

I'm with Sprite and John on the time thing. I haven't worn a watch in 30 years. And, the milk sloshing? Really? Don't you have a couple of dogs to take care of that sort of thing? JR and The Boy are even worse than I am. The above explains why my kitchen table looks like a mail explosion went off near it. Could you come over to my house to practice your control tendencies? I need someone to whip the boys into shape and I'm obviously not the person to do it.

[Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)]

Heh, my sister has the same time notion that John does - you can count on her leaving at the time she's supposed to be somewhere. Even if it's an hour drive. ;)

I have the same increased stress level as you do trying to get somewhere on time when both Hovering Hubby and Princess Nagger tend to move as slow as molasses. Too bad we don't have something to bribe our hubby's with like we do the kids. I don't think "We need to be out the door in 5 minutes or no Happy Meal for you!" will work. :)

[Maureen@IslandRoar]

Oh, I can relate. Stress is almost always about control, isn't it? I stress that too much is up to me here as the only parent. It stressed me out to even think of Spinning on it, so I just couldn't.

[Jan]

I'm extremely punctual, but other than that, I'm of the John and Sprite camp - Beloved is the control freak in our house. He hasn't killed me after 12 years, so I guess we're doing all right.

I'm late, but my Spin is finally up: http://www.jbsitedesigns.com/?p=7969

[kyooty]

ahhahaa there is only so much I can stress about, we were the family 5minutes late for church, so much so mom added 5minutes to the main clock in the house to get us there almost on time.

[HeatherPride]

Right now I'm stressing over my husband's clutter in our basement and our garage, and the fact that my living room smells like puppy pee and I don't know where it's coming from.

[Mama Badger]

You should have married PB. He was always so embarrassed as a child, showing up late places, schleping 5 kids of various ages, that he is fastidious about time now. We get up at 6:30 on Sunday to get to church at 9:30 (because if he insists we be on time, I insist that we be dressed appropriately for the event).

I'm interested to see how your stress explodes with kid #2. I was much like you before little o was born. Now? I'd be a basket case if I cared that much.

[unmitigated me (m.a.w.)]

Hey! I spun! http://unmitigated.typepad.com/unmitigated/2010/05/spin-cycle-stress-and-relief.html

Consider lying to John about the time you need to be there.

[~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ aka, Jennifer]

Mine is in! http://thesouthdakotacowgirl.com/2010/05/spinning-in-stress/ i put it up last night actually. so proud of me. Practice breathing in and out when you feel overwhelmed. It helps me! And then go and DO instead of fret! :-)

[VandyJ]

I've got mine up and I didn't even stress about it ;)
http://tttandme.blogspot.com/2010/05/spin-cycle-stressed-out.html

Time is a suggestion for Nick too. Me, I'm an on time girl--I hate to be early--was lots growing up. It's aweful to be the first one all the time. So now I'm on time exactly (maybe five minutes early depending on the event).
M

[Kingsmom]

I'm early for everything and I pride myself on that fact. My husband on the other had is like John. He claims he's always, "right on time". But it stresses me out to think we may be late. I find it inconsiderate to show up to an activity late. Plus being early allows for some time to calmly prepare for the activity. Not feel all crazy and anxious cause you're running around frantic. So, basically what I'm saying is - I'm on your side!

[Bano]

Ooh, ooh! I am a total control freak, too!

It's so bad, in fact, that Mr. Clean has resigned to letting me drive *everywhere* so that he doesn't have the urge to punch me in the face while I remind him that the car in front is braking, the speed limit is 5 lower than what the speedometer says, and that at every turn we are about to wreck because he is a terrible driver.

Our marriage is much better (read: still in tact) because of this compromise.

[Bano]

PS: Have to agree with M.A.W. on the lying bit. My mother is ALWAYS late. Like, ALWAYS. Not for work or anything important like that, but for EVERY.THING.ELSE. I finally started telling her to be places 15 minutes before she really needs to be there and it worked! ((High five, M.A.W.! Genius!))

[Alaina]

I'm with you on being on time and punctual. My fiance' is always rushing at the last minute to leave. So when we have important things to do like catch a flight or something, I'll set the alarm clock ahead five-ten minutes so that he thinks we're leaving at the last possible minute, but we're really not...it's evil, but it works!

[Amy]

Wow, this is my exact same kind of crazy.

Sometimes you're like my other me, Jen, I heart you (but not in a crazy stalker-y kind of way).

[Robin]

I am a chronic early-bird. It makes me INSANE to be late, even when timeliness doesn't matter. And of course I didn't marry someone who shares that little (?) habit which only makes matters way worse. But it's that always the way things work? :)

[Gretchen]

Jimmy and I are both on-time freaks. Which is a good thing. And I also really identify with the control thing. I HATE not being in control. That said, I'm much better now than I used to be. Age? That must be the remedy!

[Julie]

Oh! I know you! In fact, I married you! We are so on time to everything, we actually seem early. It's really sort of embarrassing, like we have nothing else to do so we're, you know, just standing at the door with our casserole, waiting for the minute hand to signal the top of the hour. *sigh*

Hey, I spun but it was 1 o'clock in the morning when I posted so I might have forgotten to send you the link or posted it somewhere strange. I'm putting it here, just in case. If I already did, sorry.

http://www.moderndaymiddleage.com/2010/05/20/looking-for-the-antidote/

[Suzicate]

You nailed it. I think stress really is much to do with control or lack of control. As women, we tend to think it's our job to take care of everything, so we stress oursleves over things that don't bother the rest of the family or actually don't really matter in the big scheme of things.

[Heidi Saperstein]

ooh, Larry must be related to John's family? Remember, we always have to give an earlier time than when the festivities actually started? Mike and I still do that. Now that he's retired it's much worse and I'm an "on-time" nut :D

[Sprite's Keeper]

Sigh. Heidi, Larry was ALWAYS late when we were growing up. Nothing new. Part of his charm when it didn't piss Mom off. They would tell him that a 2 pm party started at noon and he would STILL be late! He was just that good at being that tardy.

[Heather]

Thankfully hubby and I are both very punctual. I hate to be late for anything so I am usually early. I also get very tense when someone is supposed to be there at a certain time is late.

[anymommy]

I think we might be long lost twins.

[Pseudo]

Excellent post Jen. I used to be a lot more like this. Hard knocks in life have given me, slowly but surely, a way of letting go.

[Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings]

My husband is more like you and I'm more like John and Sprite I guess. I drag my feet and drag my feet and draaaag my feet. Drives him nuts. My head is in the clouds most of the time...or somewhere else. :-)