Spin Cycle: Along came a spider

I've created a monster. (At least, John blames me for it.) (I think?)

There are monsters in Sprite's classroom. I should have suspected I would be dealing with this when Sprite moved up rooms to join her best friend Kayla who had already moved up months earlier.

The first morning, as I sat at one of the low tables and watched Sprite and Kayla play together in one corner, I let my attention turn to the teacher who was giving the lecture "Toys, and various reasons why we don't bring them to school" to a crying boy. (Given the way he was carrying on and clutching at his Transformer, I don't think he was paying attention.) Suddenly, I heard:

"Monsters!"

Kayla screamed and ran from where Sprite was still standing, Sprite's blank look the only thing following the fleeing pre-schooler.

Kayla came over to me and slapped me on the knee to get my attention. "Ms. Jen! There is monster! It eating Sprite!"

I looked back over to my daughter whose expression now protrayed more of a "WTF" pose. (Oh, she is SO my kid.)

"Kayla, there's no monsters. Sprite is just fine. Why don't you go read books?" I smoothed her hair and sent her back to save Sprite from the Monster at the end of the book she was holding. (FYI? The monster is Grover. Has always been. Will always be.)

After that morning, I would hear the word "monster" being vollied around once in a while whenever I put my ear down to the preschooler pavement, but it never followed us home. Until now.

Hey, irony? It's not nice to hit.

"Buggie!"

Sprite slapped at her plate as an invading fruit fly tried to attack her food. Her cries quickly became screams and she scrambled from her seat, abandoning her applesauce.

"Sprite, it's okay. It's just a fly." I waved my hand over her plate to dispatch the rogue bug and invited her back to sit. "It's gone, Sprite. You can eat now."

She shied away from her chair choosing instead to lift her arms to me. "I sit with you. Up!"

"But your dinner is over by your chair. How will you eat?"

Sprite reached over and slid her Princess placemat toward my side of the table. Point made. "Up!" she demanded as she turned to me. As soon as I complied and she settled into my lap, she picked up her fork with one hand and a noodle with the other. "No buggies here," she said, comfortable with her new look at the situation.

As we continued throughout the week, the buggie bogeyman grew into a scary spider.

"Mommy! Daddy! AaaaaaaEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

John and I raced to her room. "What is it?" we both asked, stumbling over each other.

She sat up in bed, having been placed there only minutes prior, slapping at her arms. "Spider! On my arms!"

John came closer and inspected her limbs. "Sweetie, there's no spider on you. You're only imagining it."

"No, spider! Spider! SpidEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Stop screaming!" I exclaimed.

We were finally able to calm her down and tuck her in again, only to be called back by her screams within minutes.

After a few nights of this, alternating between bugs and spiders, she pulled a new one on us.

"Sprite! Don't throw your toys!"

Her eyes brightened with alarm, realizing I had just seen her lob one of her Princess figurines across the living room. (By the velocity and whizzing color, I believe it was Jasmine.)

"Go pick it up before Harry gets to it."

The terrier's ears perked, attuned to the command, and Sprite turned on him quickly. "No, Harry, that's Sprite's Princess!" She dashed over to where the toy had disappeared under the couch and knelt down to peer into the shadows.

An instant later, "Aieeeeeeeee! Spider! Spider!" The screams came closer to the kitchen where I was making dinner and I felt her arms clasp my legs. "Pick me up! Up!"

"Honey, it's okay," I murmured, growing weary of the spider checking, but also fearful that if there really WAS a spider under the couch, John wasn't home to kill it. (My attempts at spider killing can only be described in one way. It must be done from a distance, I must be allowed ample time to twitch and shudder after each attempt to throw something at it, and I must be allowed to curse and squeal with the efforts. So I call on John to do it. It's just quicker that way. And then I must look at the corpse to verify its size, its demise,  and then shudder some more. I think it would amuse John if it didn't irritate him so much, especially when I'm waking him to do the deed.)

Closing in on the area of last spotted spider activity, I crouched down to get a view of the floor underneath the couch. Toys, Harry's half chewed bone, a book I had been looking for, but no spider. Whew. "No spider," I confirmed, hoping that would be the end of it.

************

Since these episodes have transpired over the months, the spiders have grown back into monsters, monsters that can only be banished with light.

Yes. My child is now afraid of the dark. (Here's where I get to curse daylight savings.)

She is weary of dark places in the house and will send me on a mission (in a certain order) to brighten every room if we can't beat the sunset home. And now I hear "no monsters, no spiders" and even "no lizards" being whispered when I tuck her in, almost like a prayer for her bedtime. This quiet statement needs confirmation from John or myself before she accepts the fate that we will in fact be leaving her presence until the morning.

I know she'll grow out of it. She'll realize that monsters are only as bad as we make them. She'll realize that bugs and lizards really don't want to be scary, just left alone. The spider thing? Considering the fact that I'VE never grown out of it? She's doomed.

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Guess who's not afraid of the big bad word "fear"?

Maureen over at IslandRoar

Gretchen over at Second Blooming

Laufa over at Morgan Madness

Margaret over at Facts from a Fact Woman -Spring Cleaning Spin!

Christopher over at Ca-Joh 

Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar 

Kate over at Recommended Daily Dose 

Stacy over at Stacy's Random Thoughts 

Wicked Step Mom over at Life and Times of a Wicked Step Mom -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Erin over at The Locals Love It -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs... -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Vandy over at The Testosterone Three and Me -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

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Next week's Spin Assignment: Opinions.

An old coworker of mine once said "opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one." I'm not going to credit him for making it up since I've heard it before, but whenever I think of that expression, his voice sounds off in my inner ear. (I'm sure he'd LOVE to know that..)

What are your opinions? What is it about the opinions of others that rankles some people? Why do we feel the need to express our opinions when it's too passionate to keep in or smother them out of fear that others will not agree?

How about freedom of speech? Does everyone truly have a right to speak their mind?

Can't wait to hear what you have to say, so Spin it up and slap it in a link!

In my opinion, you'd be a fool not to..

Comments

[Rachel]

I laughed at your description of your attempts to kill spiders, because you could have been describing me. Although generally I'm trying to throw things at them while standing on a chair.

I think you're right that Sprite will grow out of these fears, but she may not grow out of the chant. I had one as a child, and to this day, even though the things do not have the power over me they used to, as I fall asleep I occasionally catch myself whispering "No fire, no earthquake, no flood, no animals escaping from the zoo..."

[WickedStepMom]

A friend of mine is going through this with his youngest. He has a teenager and a toddler. His quote, "I hate when they start developing an imagination! They always freak out for about 6 months!"

[Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt]

I can do spiders but feel that way about snakes. You get a lot of those buggies in FL, huh? Here's my spin...

http://thelocalsloveit.com/2010/01/15/spin-cycle-fear/

[Jan]

I read this and realize how lucky I am that none of my kids went through the "There's a monster in my closet!" phase. Of course, being MY kids they may have believed the monsters were there, but they never feared them. The boys (who, to this day, have an unnatural fascination with zombies) would probably have tried to befriend them - my daughter probably tried to bribe them with milk and cookies so they would do her bidding.

[Libby]

I was totally afraid of the dark as a kid. And, um, I still am... I don't have to check under my bed for monsters any more though.

I just wrote my latest opinion piece ... http://libbylogic.blogspot.com/2010/01/history-101.html

[Mama Badger]

Spiders, huh? Good thing you have John and PB has me (his is also an arachnophobe). I am a fearless spider killer. I'll protect you and Sprite while John's away. Call, I'll fly to Florida, I promise.

[Casey]

This must be a 3 year old thing. My 9 year old nephew was over a few months ago and taught the kids to scream for "SCARY MONSTERS" in Graham's room over and over. So then he insisted on playing scary monsters every night until we had to ban the game from the house because Graham was waking up several times a night saying there was a monster in his room. Fun stuff.

And now we're nightlight people too. Gah.

[Patty]

I don't mind spiders so much, but cannot stand cockroaches. Unfortunately, they abound in our rural town, so every so often we see one in our home, which is when I go stark raving mad. I have an exterminator come regularly, but I guess some get through. We also get a whole bunch of them in the shed in our backyard and it totally wigs me out to see them. Ugh, I'm shuddering as I type.

[Maureen@IslandRoar]

Definitely a 3 year old thing, or there-abouts. I remember we had to get my son a nightlight and actually make a can of Monster Spray (I was so creative, or crazy) that we would use around the room at bedtime each night. I told him it was guaranteed to work. It made him feel a little better. Tho I think he is still afraid of monsters and he's 22. But he lives in Manhattan, so I guess he's learned to handle it?

[Mama Badger]

Done. Whew.

http://outoftheboondocks.blogspot.com/2010/01/spin-cycle-fear.html

[K]

We have monsters in our house - but it's usually just my son pretending to be a monster and I'm usually the one who is getting "attacked".

He's such a boy.

[Heather]

Maybe she needs to watch Monters Inc. to get a new perpective on monsters.

I'm not afraid of spiders, but I hate snakes and mice!

[VandyJ]

I'm with you on the spider thing. My spin is up.
http://tttandme.blogspot.com/2010/01/spiders-creepy-crawlies-and-large.html

[Michele]

Snakes are evil. I don't care what anyone says about how they keep down the rodent population or whatever they eat. They are still and will always be evil. I will always be afraid of them.

So yeah, Sprite is screwed about the spiders thing unless you overcome your spiders thing. That or she'll get over a mock you.

[Pseudo]

for me it's cockroaches... hubs is geckos. imagine that.

Ack. I had an idea all week for the fear spin and life got in the way...

[Ginny Marie]

Emmy has been pointing out spiders lately, and then I look at the carpet and the spider is a piece of black fuzz. From my husband's socks. It's all over the house and it drives me (and Emmy, who thinks fuzz=spiders) crazy!

[Lisa]

Yeah, Jonathan pulls out the monster card from time to time too....and he's not too fond of the dark, but neither am I and I'm 32! Sorry I haven't been around this week ... first it was a toddler who decided he didn't have to go to bed. At all. Then a stomach bug hit me and it won't let go. Uh-oh! Now I'm scared of bugs too!

[Ann's Rants]

My husband hates spiders. With him it's less cute, as I know he will never grow out of it.

Mice, too.

Lucky Lucky better-grow-some-balls me.

Thanks for delurking!

[Margaret aka Fact Woman]

Instead of light to banish the bad things, try adding some perfume to a spray bottle of water and use it as bug and monster repellent. A few squirts around the room at night, under the bed, on the pillow and in the closet. Tell her that the smell will keep them all way and then she can be "safe". It worked great with my kids. Tell her that it's really strong so only a little bit is needed. As long as she smells it nothing can get her. That monsters are's afraid of light just the repellent!!! Good luck.

[Laufa]

We have a light that has to stay on all night too. Good thing they (probably China) make the long lasting light bulbs now. Bubba is scared of noises. (I hate my neighborhood!)