There's not a lot I hate about raising a child. Diapers? No problem. (Yeah, I can say that now that I don't have to buy them. HA!) Thirty-three hours straight of The Little Mermaid? Only if I'm allowed to sing along or mock it, then bring it on. The constant ambushing of love that results in black and blue splotches all over my upper body? Aside of the audible "Oomph!" I often release when the impact happens, I can take it in stride. (Although, Sprite? Think of Mommy as a peach. Sure, I might feel all soft and even pliable in some places, but I DO bruise!)
But there are some things, LITTLE things, mind you, that slowly but surely chip away at my stoic resolve to not use my angry voice.
I hate sleeping with my kid.
I admit it. I wanted a co-sleeping arrangement when Sprite was a baby. I wanted to be able to snuggle with John and our little one early in the morning, all of us warm underneath a down blanket while still floating between the REM world and reality, mustering up our collective courage to face the new day together. I wanted to be able to cradle her after a bad dream and sneak her into our bed for soothing quiet times and loving sighs of contentment where she would feel safe. I wanted at least a little bit of what other parents often dread when they CAN'T get the toddler out of their bed.
Now, I am SO glad I wasn't gung-ho on attachment parenting. The few times I have had to share a bed with Sprite, I have been subjected to numerous beatdowns all within the span of a few hours, hours she was supposed to be asleep. The time we stayed on Marco Island, it was the three of us in one king size bed. Space wasn't an issue, but Sprite decided that first night that she wanted to cuddle with me. And cuddling with me meant her right foot was naturally supposed to insert itself into my mouth. Because this made her laugh. I didn't get any sleep that night, so the next night, because I'm mean, I shoved her over to share some space with her father. John was NOT my friend when daylight came.
I made sure to remind John (about 500 times) that we wanted TWO beds for our trip to Disney World. He called and verified that we would have two. I smiled, knowing we had bested her at her own game.
Irony hates me. Or at least likes to laugh at me. Often.
We arrived at our hotel and discovered that, yes, we did have two beds. Two full size beds. John and I sleep on a queen because we like the space. This would be tight. That first night, John and Sprite fell asleep on their respective beds and I stayed up, organizing our things for the next morning. (You want to go on vacation with me. I am the supreme ruler of Nothing Forgotten And Everything Packed Into A Convenient Backpack That Weighs Less Than The Kid.) As I wound down to take my own spot in our cramped bed, (I sure as hell didn't want to bunk with the kid, knowing I would turn into her own personal jungle gym) I looked over and saw she was moving about her turf restlessly. Sigh. Obviously, her down time needed supervision. Giving up my 8 hours, I blocked one exit with pillows and the other exit with myself, keeping one hand loosely resting on her back so I would know if she were going over Serta's cliff.
1:30AM- Still entrapped in my own imagination, I could feel her slipping away from me. From my prone position, I reached out with my left arm and grabbed her ankle as she plummeted headfirst off the bed, somehow pulling her back up and onto the mattress before I resettled the pillow brigade and tried to return to my own slumber after saving my daughter from a concussion. (You're WELCOME, Sprite.)
2 AM- "Mommy, are you SLEEPING?" Her voice sliced juicily into my ear as her fingers pried my eyelids.
"Yes," I replied, "and you should be too."
She giggled and snuggled into my front. I started to slip into unconsciousness again, only halted, feeling a sense of foreboding...then "Ugh! Sprite!"
Her knee had lodged into my abdomen from standing on the bed and diving onto me. If I had been pregnant, there would have been issues. (I know, reading this, now I'M rather surprised I want another one.) (No, not pregnant. Thanks for asking.)
I told John the next morning that it was HIS turn to swim with our sleeping shark this night since I had already been bitten too often, but remembering how she had come close a few times from falling off the rather high bed and a rather long internal battle with myself over my issues of control and making sure the kid didn't get hurt, I took one for the team (and demanded the next few nights off) (and got 'em) and laid down with her once more to battle my bedtime beast.
"Mommy, you sleep with me, o-KAY? Alright, Mommy?"
I smiled and yawned. "Yes, but we must sleep. No jumping or hurting Mommy." (PLEASE..)
"Okay, Mommy."
I got comfortable and laid my head on my pillow, watching her as she made her own space. Sprite pushed her pillow up slightly on the bed, sat back and observed it, reaching out every other second to smooth here, ruffle there until she was happy with the pillow's position. Then she counted to three and pounced. Literally. She pounced onto her pillow, her tushy going airborne as she wiggled her limbs underneath her and sighed, "Cover me, Mommy."
Smiling, I obliged, slipping the blanket up to keep her warm, and thought, Maybe this isn't ALL bad.
2 AM- "Ow! SPRITE!"
I take it back.
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Take a moment and read these brave Spinners' confessions!
You KNOW you can relate..
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Next Week's Assignment: Free Spin!
Yeah, it sounds like a cop out, but next Friday is Sprite's birthday! We've recently done anniversaries and birthdays and I can't think of any other way to connect a Spin to the post I KNOW will be centered around my three year old. (Gasp! Three? NOOOOO!)
So, because I love you all, I'm giving you the chance to Spin up WHATEVER you want to Spin about! Just attach the words "Spin Cycle" to it, send me the link, and it counts! How easy could that be?
Easy.
You're welcome.
See you next week on the Spin Cycle! (I'll save you a cupcake...)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who would rather not sleep with my kid. Why have we not talked about this before? I was feeling un-motherly!
Posted by: Rachel | November 06, 2009 at 06:02 AM
Eventually the H bar gets too big to share the bed with. Mine come in to cuddle and that part I love it. My youngest seemed to think he was "me" and would ROLL Right into my back and be perfectly happy. My middle? the - of the H.
Posted by: kyooty | November 06, 2009 at 07:02 AM
A couple of years ago, The Young One and I sat down and watched "The Birds." I was TYO's first Hitchcock film and I was surprised when it scared the bejesus out of him, but it did. Since Beloved was out of town, I told the boy (the 12-year-old boy who is apparently terrified of marauding birds) that he could sleep with me.
I've slept with the boy before, and that night I thanked my lucky stars we have a California king bed. But that did NOT prevent me from building a barrier of pillows and blankets down the middle. Because my son whom I love more than life itself? Does human helicopter impressions in his sleep.
Posted by: Jan | November 06, 2009 at 08:25 AM
http://lifeandtimesofawickedstepmom.com/2009/11/06/it-works-for-us/
I can't sleep with the kids either. I end up staying up all night worried that I will squish or kick them in my sleep!
Posted by: WickedStepMom | November 06, 2009 at 08:35 AM
I was thinking that maybe railings on the bed would have been nice, but then she would wake up with bruises or worse something broken. I wouldn't have been able to fall alseep either!
Posted by: Heather | November 06, 2009 at 09:39 AM
Oh, I LOVE this post. I love snuggling in bed with Madeline when she's awake, but it can get rough & tumble at times.
Posted by: bessie.viola | November 06, 2009 at 10:09 AM
Loved this post Jen. I had a visual every time Sprite pounced you.
Both our kids slept with us when they were babies. I attribute it to my needing sleep, and since they were breast fed, it was so much easier to roll in and nurse than get out of bed. As soon as the toddler limbs started flaying, I wanted them out.
I
Posted by: Pseudo | November 06, 2009 at 10:20 AM
LOVE this post! Princess Nagger is a lot like Sprite...and when we went to the Caribbean, we had the same 'issue' you did with the size of the two beds. Since hubby can sleep anywhere, anytime and not wake up for ANYTHING, I ended up sharing a bed with PN to make sure she didn't end up with a concussion. I had to wait until I got home to get any sleep. ;)
You mentioned Sprite's B-Day was close to PN's...I didn't realize it was THAT close! Cool! I'll be looking forward to reading all about the celebration! :)
Posted by: Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) | November 06, 2009 at 10:36 AM
I completely understand, after having to share our bed with four at one time or another, trust me when I say, it is never pleasant. Feet and knees always get jammed where they're not supposed to. I've been known to leave my bed to the kid in favor of an empty toddler bed or sofa for myself.
And for me:
http://outnumberedtwotoone.wordpress.com/2009/11/06/love-em-to-death-but/
Posted by: mrsbear | November 06, 2009 at 10:47 AM
We started letting Logan sneak into our bed when he was a sweet and precious 2 year old, and then couldn't get him out again until he was almost 5! Eeek, that turned out to be a major mistake. Claire is not a snuggler so I think we're off the hook with her.
Famous last words.
Happy B day to Sprite next week if I don't see you before then!
Posted by: HeatherPride | November 06, 2009 at 11:01 AM
When Beloved was seven months old he got a terrible cold. I was so worried about him that I put him in bed with me. I cradled him in my arms the whole night lest he fall out of bed and I didn't move an inch, lest I wake him. When I awoke the next day, my hip was asleep and when it woke up it screamed. My hip hasn't been right to this day, and that was 21 years ago.
Posted by: Ellie Belen | November 06, 2009 at 11:39 AM
Yeah, no sleeping with LG either. That's just not sleep. When he was little, I would snuggle him on top of me and we'd share the couch so PB could sleep. Now I do the same with o, knowing that soon he'll be in his crib and not need me anymore. Sigh.
Posted by: Mama Badger | November 06, 2009 at 12:16 PM
http://outoftheboondocks.blogspot.com/2009/11/spin-cycle-i-hate-to-admitt-it.html
Posted by: Mama Badger | November 06, 2009 at 12:33 PM
I love this post. I am this post.
Happy Friday! May you have pleasant dreams and sleepfilled nights.
Posted by: Erin@TheLocals Love It | November 06, 2009 at 01:18 PM
yeah.
cant imagine doing that.
i need the whole bed.
and all the blanket.
and the pillow.
all to myself.
i know. i'm greedy like that.
Posted by: justsomethoughts | November 06, 2009 at 02:46 PM
With kicks like that, maybe she has a future as a soccer player? ;)
Posted by: Robin | November 06, 2009 at 02:47 PM
I never even wanted to try co-sleeping. I knew it would send me over the edge.
I'm sure all the attachment parents will judge me, but it wasn't for me.
Posted by: K | November 06, 2009 at 04:32 PM
Meg sleeps with us! So does the dog! No wonder I look a little haggered, it's because I spend most of the night balancing like a trapeze artist on the edge of the bed. *sigh* Great spin as always!
Posted by: Kirsty@Gone Bananas | November 07, 2009 at 11:23 AM
Our 4.5 year old son has always crawled in our bed for as long as I can remember. My husband or I will put him back once he is sound asleep or end up crashing in his bed. We just got back from 2 week oversees trip and the sleeping arrangements were awful because of saggy or lumpy beds. You can always put the mattress on the floor so she won't hurt herself.
Posted by: holly | November 08, 2009 at 12:25 AM
I'm late . . .
http://www.jhsiess.com/2009/11/07/i-have-a-confession/
Posted by: JHS | November 08, 2009 at 12:47 AM
Trying to catch up on posts... Can you come on vacation with us? I am a lousy packer, and we need to be very conservative with the space on this one.
Oh, and thanks for the reminder - must not forget th bed rail.
Posted by: Arwen | November 08, 2009 at 07:42 AM
Ah yes, Sleeping with the child. Always an adventure. Glad you don't have too many bruises from it all! Sorry I haven't been around too much...real sick. Swine Flu? Maybe. . .Sweating a lot right now. No. Perspiring, because that's what ladies do!
Posted by: Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings | November 08, 2009 at 02:34 PM
I loved when our oldest used to sleep with us because he stayed in one spot and he slept in. The youngest? Rhythmic gymnastics all night followed by an early wake up when we're expected to play with him.
Posted by: Captain Dumbass | November 09, 2009 at 12:14 AM
I often felt like I was missing out too since we've never done the cosleeping thing. Like ever. I get enough knees and elbows and full body blows to the boobs during the day, I need my rest at night.
Posted by: Casey | November 11, 2009 at 11:49 PM