Sprite's Keeper

Spin Cycle: "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.."

Put on those party hats and forgive the calories you're about to consume, it's time for the Spin Cycle and we're celebrating birthdays and anniversaries, whether your favorite memories of them or something you're doing right now.

Like our first Spinner!

Casey over at Half As Good As You -Happy Anniversary!

Kirsty over at Gone Bananas

Becca over at The Katz Cradle -I can't wait to meet the birthday girl!

Pseudonymous High School Teacher -Updated Tuesday!

Maureen over at IslandRoar -Updated Tuesday!

Jessica over at Bernthis.Com -Updated Tuesday!

Cristin over at Tiptoeing Through The Tulips -Updated Tuesday!

Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar -Updated Wednesday!

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs... -Updated Wednesday!

Robin over at Cinnamon and Honey -Updated Wednesday!

Erin over at The Locals Love It -Updated Wednesday! New to the Spin Cycle!

Laufa over at Morgan Madness -Updated Thursday!

Lisa over at Boondock Ramblings -Updated Thursday!

Meli over at Randomosity- Mommy Style! -Updated Thursday!

Remember, you have until Friday to throw the confetti and all weekend after to clean it up!

MY bedtime stories don't require a charger, but I'm picking my battles.

"John, is Sprite asleep yet?"

"I haven't checked on her lately, but the monitor is quiet. I'd say that's a yes."

"Did she give you any problems during bedtime?"

"Uh....no."

"How many stories did you read her?"

"Just one."

"Really? She didn't fight you for more?"

"Mmm...nope."

"Did you give her anything else?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm just surprised that she went down so easily.... She didn't take a dog hostage?"

"Just trust in the fact that I know how to put my own daughter to bed, thank you."

"Okay. Sorry."

Right.

I wasn't aware bedtime stories came by way of applications these days.

Spin Cycle: Cheaters Never Prosper (unless they spin it a certain way..)

I have to say this has been the hardest Spin Cycle week for me. Usually, coming up with the topics requires my double A batteries to start turning before I can think of a theme that a. has never been done before, b. appeals to the masses, and c. has never been done before. (With exception to the "favorites" Spins, it's been pretty good, no?) Once the theme is in the can, writing about it just flows since I find making fun of myself to be very easy.

This week though? I cheated. (So sayeth Laufa.)

I couldn't think of a motto! Other than dissecting the "Hakuna Matata" philosophy in last week's Spin and openly filleting "Live every day as if it were your last" on the round-up post, I was coming up empty. So I turned to Facebook and posted this status:

"Jen is up idea's creek without a pencil. Friday's Spin Cycle is about motto's. I don't have one and can't think of any. Need your help! What's your motto? What words do you live by?"

The motto's came in, some good ones for me to consider, until I happened upon a comment by our own Laufa, "Cheater!"

Damn. She caught me.

To be fair, she's right. I was willing to look to others' words of wisdom to paperclip to my life so I wouldn't phone one in for my own damn forum. Seeing the error of my ways, I tacked on my own comment behind hers saying I would summarize every single motto that people had recommended and credit them all. To be fair. Plus, you can have a lot of fun with interpretations. So, here it is! Words other people live by as considered by me!

"No good deed goes unpunished." - George. Ah, George. I worked with him at Universal Studios. He was dating one of my coworkers at Disney and I wasn't aware he had hired on for "Jaws". When I saw him in full uniform at the load dock as I was coming out from the control tower, I screamed in front of about 30 unassuming guests waiting in the turnstiles and jumped into his arms. A great guy who has moved onto bigger and better things. Unfortunately, when it comes to his motto, I'm stuck. I keep reverting back to the same named song in "Wicked" where Elphaba is grieving over the alleged demise of her love Fiero and cursing the fact that she had tried to help the land of Oz and was instead cast as "wicked", therefore she concludes she will never do a good deed for other again. So, to bring it full circle, I tried to make good on my cheating ways and am now stuck with a catchy tune in my head. That would be my punishment. Of course, right now, it's more pleasure than pain, but when the song wakes me up at four in the morning, I'll be payin'.

"Seeing is believing." - Susan. My best friend is behind this one and she credits ME with saying it since I am known for being skeptical about anything based in faith. UFO's? Show me photos. Ghosts? Prove it. "I'll believe it when I see it." This is my go-to whenever I debate philosophy with anyone, although most people who bring up philosophy are usually drunk. If I don't have a fallback, I pull out my trusty "Seeing is believing" and that usually shuts them up. (Plus, it's never a good thing to debate philosophy with drunk people. You win easily, but it's like beer. Empty calories.)

"Vive tu vida no la mia." - John. Thanks, babe. I learned this phrase which translates to "live your life, not mine", the only Spanish phrase I know. I pull this one out from time to time with the situation suits, but it IS a good motto and one I like to point out to others when some words of wisdom are needed. Plus, my in-laws think I'm cute when I say it.

"Never a dull moment." - William. This one I like because I've known William for YEARS, since middle school. He's a published author who just released the second book of his series, an accomplishment few can tote, so he is truly living this motto right now. The only way I can adopt this motto is when I'm playing with Sprite.

"It is what it is." - Chris. A family friend. I like this motto because it's short and perfunctory. This is the situation. Now deal with it, dude. "Jen! Sprite pooped!" "So she did. Your turn."

"Treat others as you would like to be treated." - Debbie. I understand the concept of this one, but the execution can be a little risky. Sometimes, people just don't subscribe to being nice. So, you're nice for nothing. (Brings about "No good deed goes unpunished", huh?)

"This too shall pass." - Robin.  This one is also short and sweet. Sometimes, you can't stress about what's already happening. Just wait for the wave to ride through. (You may want to pack a barf bag though. Those waves can be high.)

"Feel the fear and do it anyway." - Dara. Nope. I can't submit to this motto AT ALL. It's just not me! I know plenty of people who feed off the butterflies they get when faced with something new and turn it into their mo-jo to tackle whatever scares them head on. Not me. I have to "what if" it to death and then poke a stick at it to make sure it's truly not going to move before I make my own move. I've tried to overcome this and work with using my fear to push myself forward. I just can't do it.

I updated my status on Thursday to stem the influx of inspirationals, thanks to everyone who played along, and a special thanks to Laufa for making me "work" for my post. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's late, John has been playing World Of Warcraft all night and I'm getting a little irritated. And we all know,

"Hell hath no fury as a woman ignored scorned."

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Don't put off for tomorrow what you can read today! Get started on these awesome "Motto" Spins!

Pseudo over at Pseudonymous High School Teacher

Laufa over at Morgan Madness

Maureen over at IslandRoar 

Erin over at Only A Movie 

Rene over at Not the Rockefellers 

Mrs. Mogul over at Mrs. Mogul -New to the Spin Cycle!

Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar 

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs... 

Lisleman over at A Few Clowns Short 

Ellie Belen over at Distracting Minutia 

Camille over at Archives of Our Lives 

Pippa over at A Mother's Ramblings -New to the Spin Cycle!

Krystal over at Sand Castle Full of Monkeys -New to the Spin Cycle! Kinda!

The South Dakota Cowgirl over at Whoa My Horses! -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Ginger over at When Ginger Snaps... -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Middle Aged Woman over at Unmitigated -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

A Tired Wife over at A Tired Wife -Updated today! Fresh Spin! New to the Spin Cycle! Kinda!

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Next week's Spin Cycle Assignment: Birthdays and Anniversaries

Amy made mention during last week's Spin Cycle that this forum was about to turn one. She's right! And I almost missed it! 

The Spin Cycle is 1! (Ooh! I should totally buy a smash cake! And then eat it.) We debuted this forum back on August 22, 2008 and have posted fifty-one topics in that time frame.

In celebration of this auspicious occasion, we are writing up all things birthday or anniversary related. Have a favorite anniversary or birthday? Spin it up and send it here!

So, plant that candle, sing a song, unwrap a Spin and help us celebrate!

RSVP by September 4th! And, of course, BYOB. (Bring your own blog.)

I am ALL about helping the turtles, even if it means covering up.

Ring!

"Hello?"

"This is the front desk calling. We need to ask you to please close your drapes."

Omigod! Someone saw me naked! "Wha-, what?"

"It's after nine o'clock. Your drapes are open."

Oh, hell. I traumatized someone with my boobs. Some poor beach walker just trying to enjoy the warm night looked up into my third floor window and caught a glimpse of my pasty whiteness and collapsed, his diminishing energy just strong enough to call out to the lobby and tell them that I am mooning the world! Are arrest warrants issued for private indecency?!

"Oh, I'm sorry?" Are we gonna get booted before check out tomorrow morning? How am I going to explain this to John?

"It's turtle season and the baby turtles can only use the moon's light to find their way to the water after they've hatched. The light from your room will confuse them. Therefore, we have an island ordinance that your drapes must be closed after 9 PM so we can help protect the turtle population."

"Oh, of course! We'll shut the curtains right away. That was it, right?"

"Ma'am?"

"No other reason to close the curtains?"

"No, ma'am."

"Okay, thank you."

It took me a few moments to realize that someone HAD been looking into my window to notice that the drapes weren't drawn and most likely HAD seen me naked.

This better be for the turtles.

Who gets paid for THAT job?

(Hey! I'm sending this over to Travel Tip Thursday over at Pseudonymous High School Teacher! I mean, there's a definite lesson learned here. Leaving your hotel curtains open while in various stages of undress will probably add you to some tourist's sightseeing tour even if you're not aware you're part of the attractions...)

If I were to sell this song on iTunes for five bucks a pop, I could make back the money I spent on this movie outing in about three years.

(If anyone needs a hint as to which song I'm ripping from, think Christmastime. And if that still doesn't clue you in, then it's time to sell your rock and move somewhere a little more populated.)

Before the movie started, my toddler said to me:

"Mommy, I have to go pee."

Before the lights turned off, my toddler said to me:

"I want some popcorn" and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

Before the previews started, my toddler said to me,

"I don't like the noise", "I want some popcorn", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

During the loud previews, my toddler said to me:

"I farted", "I don't like the noise", "I want some popcorn", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

When the credits came on, my toddler said to me:

"I WANNA GO HOME!", "I farted, did you hear it?", "I don't like the noise", "Can I have some popcorn?", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

2 minutes into the movie, my toddler said to me:

"It's too dark in here", "I WANNA GO HOME!", "That was a stinkie", "I don't like the noise", "I want some popcorn", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

5 minutes into the movie, my toddler said to me:

"I want up!", "It's too dark in here", "I WANNA GO HOME!", "I farted", "I don't like the noise", "I want some popcorn", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

6 minutes into the movie, my toddler said to me:

"Can I go to the park?", "I want up!", "It's too dark in here", "I WANNA GO HOME!", "I farted", "I don't like the noise", "I want some popcorn", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

7 minutes into the movie, my toddler said to me:

"Look at the doggie! He funny!" "Can I go to the park? PLEASE?", "I want up!", "Turn on the lights!", "I WANNA GO HOME!", "I farted", "I don't like the noise", "I want some popcorn", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

10 minutes into the movie, my toddler said to me:

"Can I have a drink?", "Doggie go 'Bark! Bark!' ", "Can I go to the park?", "Up, now!", "Where did the lights go?", "I WANNA GO HOME!", "Mommy, YOU farted", "I don't like the noise", "Can I have M&M's?", and "Mommy, I have to go pee."

10.5 minutes into the movie, my toddler said to me:

"Is it over?", "I need a drink!", "Aroooooooo!", "Park? Now?", "Up, please!", "It's too dark!", "I WANNA GO HOME!", "Hee hee, I fart again!", "It's too loud!", "I want popcorn! I want popcorn! I want popcorn!", and "Mommy, I don't have to pee anymore."

When I lost my patience, these words came out of me:

"No, it isn't over", "Your juice is right there", "That's a guinea pig, not a dog", "No park, we're at the MOVIES", "You can sit on my lap if you're quiet", "It's supposed to be dark", "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PAID FOR THIS TICKET TO BRING YOU HERE? I WANT TO GO HOME TOO!", "Keep your flatulence to yourself", "Movies are noisy", "Have some of my popcorn and why are you eating an M&M when I didn't buy any?", and "Screw it, we're going home!"

Can anyone tell me how "G Force" ended?

RTT: You lookin' at me?

I just found out on Facebook that my office building has hidden cameras in the elevators. I'm feverishly trying to recall if I've done anything more embarassing than that spontaneous recreation of N'Sync's "Bye Bye Bye" dance routine. Nothing I can think of, but if anyone is having a fight with someone else about who dealt the silent but deadly, the video can probably be called on for testimony... Oh, crap! That time I sang "We are the champions" and completely blew the high note! I hope the cameras don't have sound.

There are some people who look approachable even if they're upset. They have lips with naturally upturned corners to create an everlasting smile and their eyebrows arch in a way that promotes an open personality, ready to brighten your day. These people are dangerous. You never know what kind of reaction you will get since they could be having the worst day possible and will tell you to screw off with a smile. Then there's the other end of the spectrum. The people who always look angry. I know someone like this. Every time I see her, she looks like she has a bone to pick and if you don't get out of her way, it will be yours, yet she's never had a cross word to say. She just LOOKS like she does. I feel bad for her because there's really nothing she can do about it. Her eyebrows can't be plucked in a certain way to open her face a bit more since she inherently has a prominent brow to create that constant broodiness. She knows this about herself though and told me a while ago that she takes on a surprised look whenever she meets someone new and makes her voice as high and tinny as possible to create an innocence so she doesn't get cast into the "not gonna make nice with THAT one" category every time.
Then there are the people who purposely make themselves up to look angry. Yes, I'm talking about those eyebrow pluckers, the ones who tweeze the hell out of their facial follicles to get the highest arch possible. All I have to say to them is, do you really know how pissed off you look? And no, they don't look natural.

While we're on the subject of faces, John made a comment about peoples' faces when they're about to take a bite of food. While we waited for our breakfast to arrive at Cracker Barrel, he had me look for other patrons hefting a forkful to their mouths and the interesting expressions they make right before they shovel in the goods. For instance, a pretty woman who was sitting behind me lost some of her appeal when her eyes squinted shut and her mouth yowled open to accept her pancakes. I noticed an older woman's face turn sour as she lifted her own food to her lips, almost as if she expected the meal to taste terrible. It makes me wonder, have you ever caught video or a glimpse of yourself eating? I've never taken to eating in front of a mirror, but now I'm curious.  

I surpassed 100,000 single page hits sometime during the last week and I completely missed it. Somehow, I find the milestone a bit anti-climatic. I thought I would be happier about it, but now I'm looking forward to 200,000. Meh. I don't advertise so the numbers don't do me any good. It's just interesting to see six digits there now. That raises another thought, advertising. Ergh, my brain is beginning to hurt. Next thought, please!

Over the weekend, we stayed at a hotel in Marco Island. (More to come on that later.) Taking Sprite to the beach, John noticed rentals were available for water hammocks. If you've never heard of a water hammock, it is a 8 foot wide circle of hard plastic with a mesh bottom that is connected much in the way of a trampoline. Water can get in, but it floats, so as long as you rest your head against the edge, you can stay afloat and ride the waves. These water hammocks also have an anchor so you can pick your wet real estate and keep it there until a rogue waves decreases your property values and moves you closer to shore. Anyway, John rented one in the afternoon and Sprite and I joined him for some boyancy lessons. After a few minutes of acclimating to the swells of the sea, I got the full gist of exactly what we were doing.
"You do realize what this is, right?" I asked John.
His eyes remained closed as he soaked in the sun while Sprite "washed" his discarded shirt in our little circle of the sea. "What do you mean?"
"We're castaways."
"What?" He shielded his vision from the direct sunlight as he looked at me. "Has the sun gone to your head?"
"No, but we are sitting here in a kind of floating vessel, just baking in the sun, acting like castaways. I almost feel like calling for help. You know, women and children first..Did we pack provisions?"
"Jen, can't you just enjoy our time out here?"
"Fine, but that's exactly what this is. Someone has made a ton of money ripping off other people's tragedies at sea."
"Again, I'm trying to-"
"I wonder if other countries know about this. They'll be shaking their heads wondering why we crazy Americans are taking a worst case scenario and turning it into a beach activity."
From the look on his face, you would think he swallowed some salt water..

Think my way for just a moment. (But just a moment. Any longer may cause temporary insanity.) If you ever find yourself going to the beach, (and I mean the "sea" beach, not a lakefront beach, a beach that if you start heading out, you will eventually reach another country, not Michigan) pause and consider the routine. You are going to coat yourself in oil (Use an SPF if you're smart.), roll yourself in a few waves of salt, and lie there "frying" in the sun. Aren't you just playing the part of one big french fry? (I have curves. Does that qualify me for a "crinkle cut" or a "steak fry"?) Maybe that's why people tend to frequent fast food joints on the way home. Cannibals..

Oh, hell. I just saw an infomercial for catheters fully armed with a doctor who warned me not use dirty catheters. I would hate to see the "Oh, no!" and "Don't you hate when that happens?" moments brought to life on this one.

Okay, I think John is right and the sun HAS gone to my head this weekend. Go hit up Keely at The Un Mom and randomize your week! Just watch what you say. She may turn you into a comic and make you do stuff. Then again, you may want to be a sidekick. So, win for you!

Maybe I'd be a tator tot. Definitely not a shoestring fry. (Yeah, I tend to linger on thoughts..)

Spin Cycle: Live Each Day As If It Were Your Last

I could never take that motto to heart since I would be crying every second lamenting the fact that "my life is over! Over, I tell you!"

And now, I'm turning off the soap opera.

Our first Motto Spin is up!

Pseudo over at Pseudonymous High School Teacher

Laufa over at Morgan Madness

Maureen over at IslandRoar -Updated Tuesday!

Erin over at Only A Movie -Updated Wednesday!

Rene over at Not the Rockefellers -Updated Wednesday!

Mrs. Mogul over at Mrs. Mogul -Updated Wednesday! New to the Spin Cycle!

Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar -Updated Wednesday!

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs... -Updated Wednesday!

Lisleman over at A Few Clowns Short -Updated Wednesday!

Ellie Belen over at Distracting Minutia -Updated Thursday!

Camille over at Archives of Our Lives -Updated Thursday!

Pippa over at A Mother's Ramblings -Updated Thursday! New to the Spin Cycle!

Krystal over at Sand Castle Full of Monkeys -Updated Thursday! New to the Spin Cycle! Kinda!

Remember, the rest of the Motto Spins are due in by Friday! Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today! Unless you want to. Totally your call..

It's Monday. Your standards are probably not that high yet..

"She really likes those munchkins."

"What would be a good caption for this?"

"Ooh, I know! A munchkin eating a munchkin!"

"What, you can do better? You're two! Here, have another munchkin and smile for the camera."

"That's my girl."

Spin Cycle: Living By The Book

My 6th grade teacher Mr. M* was impressed with me. He told me so. I was his best student. My papers were full of thoughtful prose well beyond my years, my homework handed in on time and usually with extra answers. My reading requirements were completed within a week of the YEAR'S assignment. (The other kids groaned when I asked for more books to be added. I learned before the first test was given to shut my mouth.) What he was most impressed with was my vocabulary. I knew some big words for such a young age. What would have surprised the hell out of him was where I learned a majority of those words.

Romance novels. Yup. I was finishing about three to four romance novels a week.

I loved to read as a kid, a hobby you'd rarely fill in on your Slam Book questionnaire in the years before Harry Potter made it cool to read. (Please tell me your schools had Slam Books too. If it was just mine, then we would be able to trace all evil back to my classmates.) I was a reader all the way through the basic years, having moved on to chapter books well before third grade. I just loved getting lost in another realm, being a fly on the wall to someone else's adventure. Seeing as my mother usually had a book in her hand while the television was on, I could say I inherited it from her.

I started small, in juvenile serials. Babysitter's Club, Sweet Valley High, not really delving into the classics, but I read a few Nancy Drew books. Then it wasn't enough. I was breezing through a book within hours, wanting more. A trip to the bookstore would yield me three books plus an Archie comic and I would swallow them whole only to end up hungry for more the next day. I needed something to read, but my mother refused to buy me more. "Too expensive." (Please don't ask why we didn't consider the library at this time. I just don't remember. Michele, I'm sorry!)

My hands ached to break a spine. My mind thirsted for fresh words. But these were the days before the Internet as we now know it. No blogs to speak of. Where would I find my fix?

My mother's bookcase.

She had THOUSANDS of books saved, but they were mostly romance. My fifth grade brow crinkled as I considered this opportunity of venturing into a new realm of the written word, even if some of the words talked about freeing a member from it's denim clad prison. (I swear, I read it. I don't remember who wrote it. I just remember I laughed out loud in the middle of my Math class when I came upon that sentence, a class where I had finished my test and was allowed to sit and ready QUIETLY. That book was confiscated when the teacher realized what I was reading and then handed back at the end of the year with a note inside it saying I should try Danielle Steele if I really wanted a laugh.)

Once I crossed over that threshold, I had an endless supply of books at my disposal. Sure, the sex parts really did nothing for me. (Remember, I was eleven.) But the stories! Will he or won't he get the girl?  Does she overcome the adversity to live her life the way she wants to? I devoured this feast of firsts quickly, secretly. My mother quickly found out I was going through her books, but what was she going to say? I was READING, something most kids had to be threatened to do back then.

I read the historical romances and quickly discovered that these "fluff novels" were very much based in reality. The authors did their research! While I learned about organza skirts and hand-spun silk and the richest colors imaginable, I also learned about law in the Elizabethan times and how children were raised. (Completely freaked out my professor a decade later in Juvenile Justice: A History when I was able to not only identify but place the root of some of today's laws. I completely got her on the word "bunting", which is the harsher predecessor to the very popular swaddling technique done on infants these days. She asked me how I knew an answer that had stumped every student in her long teaching history and the look on her face when I answered, "romance novels" was priceless.)

These days, my taste still runs toward the romance genre with a touch of suspense thrown in, Nora Roberts and such, but I've evolved to biographies (I finished The Thomas Edison bio about two years ago after reading it only during my pumping sessions. It took awhile.), suspense, fiction, and even a few Classics (Garp who?).

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my favorite reading past-time of late, reading your blogs.

*I actually don't remember my 6th grade teacher's name. It may have started with a B. (This will drive me crazy for the remainder of the day.)

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I'm afraid to show John just how many books I've added to my wish list after reading these Spins!

Jan over at Jan's Sushi Bar

Jim Styro and ME! over at He Read, She Read

Middle Aged Woman over at Unmitigated

Mama Badger over at Out of the Boondocks and Into the Burbs...

Nothing Fancy over at Nothing Fancy

Kendra over at Life in the Slow Lane

Wicked Step Mom over at Life and Times of a Wicked Step Mom 

Maureen over at IslandRoar 

South Dakota Cowgirl over at Whoa My Horses! 

Rachel over at The Ramblings of Rachel

Meli over at Randomosity-Mommy Style! -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Laufa over at Morgan Madness -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Erin over at It's Only A Movie -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Pseudo over at Pseudonymous High School Teacher -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Amy over at Paved With Good Intentions -Updated today! Fresh Spin!

Maureen over at IslandRoar -Updated Sunday! Fresh Spin!

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Next week's Spin Cycle Assignment: Motto's.

"What's a motto?"

"Nothin'! What's a motto with you?"

(Sorry, Lion King is in our DVD player.)

What motto do you live by? Is there an inspirational saying that you keep coming back to? Does it describe your life as it is or the way you want it to be?

Have you ever seen someone adopt a motto and change their life based on a few words?

Tell us what your take is on it!

Remember to have it in by next Friday, August 28th! You know, cuz "there's no time like the present".

Some have asked how to jump aboard the Spin Cycle! It's easy! Just write your "spin" on whatever topic we're dissecting that week and make a post about it! Copy the link, paste it into my comments section and I'll link ya! It's as hard as you want it to be or as easy! (There may be a motto in that last sentence somewhere..)

Honk If You Love Me

The turn arrow flashed green.

I trained my eyes on the brake lights ahead of me and waited for them to fade so I could ease my own foot off my pedal.

The car didn't move.

The green light was growing roots. I would lose it soon. I danced with the idea of tapping the horn. Should I?

The car didn't move.

I hit the horn. Finally, the car pushed forward and I trailed behind, entering the intersection just as the light turned yellow.

Once through, I eased into the middle lane, no longer dependent on someone else's concentration. I turned up the volume on the talk show I was listening to, only to turn the volume back down seconds later when my cell rang.

"Hello?"

"You honked at me!"

"So? You weren't going anywhere. I was going to lose the light."

"Yeah, but you honked at me!"

"John, what did you expect?"

"You could have called me."

"It was quicker to honk."

"You have to blog about this."

"I do? Why?"

"Cause you honked at your own husband."

"I fail to see how this is post-worthy. You were holding up traffic. I honked. You moved. Pretty cut and dry, don't you think?"

"You don't find this funny?"

"Not really. And what were you doing that kept your eyes off the road?"

"Reading an e-mail."

"So. you want me to write a post about how I honked at you because you were busy texting and not-"

"I wasn't texting! I was reading an e-mail."

"Were your eyes off the road?"

"But-"

"Same difference."

"So, you're not going to write about this?"

"I may. It's getting a lot funnier now."