I want my Mommy.

The other shoe has dropped. (John's trip being the first foot in need of a Dr. Shull's.)

When we heard about John's upcoming (read: now) trip, I pulled an Ace out of my sleeve to keep my life semi-normal. I dangled the grandchild card in front of my mother and she took the bait, offering a week of services ranging from plain ole' house sitting to child distraction to company to another body to make the house a little more full to detract possible intruders who would somehow KNOW there was another body in the house and decide to pick on the house two blocks over. (This is the way my mind works. Scientists are looking into it..)

She and her arsenal of quilting crap rode into town late last week and all was good. John left, Dad came and left, and the toddler turned to Baba for everything, somehow realizing that even though I make the rules, I call Baba "Mom", and since I call someone else "Mom", I am no longer the  "Mom" Sprite thought I am, therefore my throne has been usurped in Sprite's eyes, and Baba is now Supreme Ruler. She's WRONG of course, but two year olds tend to skip steps when it comes to logic (kind of like men when reading instruction manuals), so we'll let it slide for now. But still! All was good!

Then the call came. (In the middle of us watching Harry Potter, no less. So rude.)

An issue had arisen, not one I can speak of since it's not my business to speak of it, you hear? Or not? (Everyone's fine. I'm not even fully aware of it myself, but everyone is fine. And that's all I know about that.) Anyway, my mom was needed back on the East side of the world that is Florida, and she asked me if it was alright if she left, even though her plan was to stay on through Sunday morning.

"If you have to go, go," I answered. "We're okay here. We love having you, but if you're needed, then you should go."

Crap. She believed me. I was hoping she would call my bluff and see how much I wanted her to stay.

Mom left yesterday morning and I texted John to tell him the news. He wrote back that he will gladly take the child off my hands for all of Sunday when he's back safe and sound. (Especially since once Sprite realizes it's just me and her, she will turn the dogs into her little minions and stage a coup on my sanity. And you know what? I think she'll win.) He had offered this little prize on Sunday morning when I drove him to the airport, but I laughed it off since Hello! My mom will be here! This is gonna be a cake walk! I have since had my lawyer draft a contract insuring John's agreement to take over toddler watch on Sunday and am waiting for the fax from John and his notary.

This post may come off as a little (a lot? My judgment is skewed.) whiny, but I am only in the "breaking the ice" stage of my pity party so allow me a few vents. (Plus, it's my blog. I'll whine if I want to.) (Sorry for the subconscious song download into your frontal lobe.. I should go back and delete that last tangent.) (Nah.) As much as I love my independence, a trait Sprite surely inherited from me, I have also realized that sometimes it's just NICE to be able to depend on my mom. It's nice to be able to "tag out" when I need a breather. And it's sobering to realize what a cake walk my life has been so far.

I always take John's presence for granted in the fact that I can bitch and whine about him putting the kid to bed since "it's been a day" and sometimes, when John sees a certain look on my face predicting the ensuing night will not be a fun one, he even offers it just to give me a break. Do you know how lucky, truly LUCKY I am to have this kind of teamwork in my home?

So when he has to leave town on business, do I take on the extra responsibility without complaint? No, I call my mommy. And I was getting away with it too. But, she's needed back at home. She's wanted here, but not needed, truth be told.

After my mom called me from the road on her way home and I realized Sprite and I would not have our favorite Mom there when we arrived home, I suddenly became very tired as I pictured a long night and an even longer bedtime as Sprite ran rampant over my inert body splayed across her hopscotch rug. I also imagined I was about twenty pounds lighter, so the daydream wasn't ALL bad.

Once home though, things weren't bad at all. The dogs were walked, the toddler was bribed with M&M's to eat one stupid piece of ground turkey fed, got a dunk in the tub, and even had a video conversation with John on the computer, before she asked for endless stories got one book and tucked in. The night ran long, but we survived! And we will survive tonight, maybe even tomorrow. And Friday night? I am going to stick a DVD on repeat play and hope she stays still while I crash somewhere nearby, maybe even on the hopscotch rug, which seemed pretty comfortable in my daydream may even have a sleep over with her!

Basically, we will get through this. I will man up and parent my kid like so many single parents do out there without the option of giving themselves a time out. I honestly respect the hell out of my sister who does it day in and day out with my nephew.

So no more complaints! I'm going to be a manmom and suck it up until Saturday night when I arrive at the airport with a bathed and nightgown-ed toddler in my arms ( I swore I would never take my kid out in public while dressed in pajamas, but this vow was made before I found out that Sprite has a penchant for her sleepwear. I'm willing to be "that mom" for a couple of minutes and may even go the extra mile and let Sprite ride the baggage claim belt for a few. Only if she's good, of course..), and when I see John come up the concourse with a big smile on his face and his arms opening wide, I will shove said toddler into his waiting arms and excuse myself for a stiff one welcome my missed and under-appreciated husband home with a big kiss and THEN shove the kid into his arms and buy myself a drink.

Now, I'm asking all of you. To the married's whose spouses sometimes skip town for a few, what do you do to  make things easier on you and the kid? To the singles who I am raising my glass to, how do you keep it together the way you do? I have until Saturday evening and I don't want to resort to counting down minutes. (The hours have already been calculated.)

Is it Saturday yet?

Comments

[The Dental Maven]

I always wind up re-routing my entire schedule when the hubs is out of town. It's never easy when you're used to sharing the responsibilities.
Keep the faith Jen, only 4 more days!

[Michele]

The first time JR went away I had a 2 year old and a 4 week old baby to take care of. It was not easy but I survived and you will too. It is a matter of scheduling. Everything takes longer and is more complicated without that support system. Hang in there it will all be over soon.

[cyndi]

Aww, how wonderful that John is such a great partner! We do well here, but DH travel has always been a part of the gig - he took the first trip with HJ were a month, so now we're in a good groove tho it's a lot of topsy-turvey like TDM mentioned. I hope you have something wonderful planned for Sunday and that you and Sprite find a good estrogen-filled space between now and then ;-) GL!

[Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)]

You already made it through the first night flying solo - you'll get through the next few and wonder why you were so worried... ;) The plans you've outlined for the next few nights sound good to me and should work like a charm! :)

Whenever hubby has to be gone, I treat it like a game with Princess Nagger and pretend that whatever we do is a 'girl secret'...we do stuff that we'll do when hubby is around, but for some reason she thinks it's even cooler when hubby's gone because it's a 'girl secret'. :)

[jen]

i think you just do.
i guess i'm just so used to part-time single parenting it ... that it actually (sometimes) feels harder when jeremy is IN town.
you have to be ok with things taking a bit longer. if all else fails ... pull out a craft or go to a new park or pack a picnic. the even-just-slightly-different things can eat up a lot of time. i really try to get the girls to help me more when jeremy's gone. i take a laundry basket ... stick it in the middle of the room and have the girls find 10 things that don't belong in that room. i have them race to see who can find sock matches the fastest. i set a timer and dance around the living room with them for 10 minutes. and then i get them in bed and blog. it's my sanity to some extent.

[Jan]

As a single parent I never had a moment to myself; I often look back and wonder how I did it. Well, I know how, really - my two older kids were forced to grow up way too soon. But they did it beautifully for the most part, and they are great adults now.

As for being the wife of a man who travels extensively for business, I am extremely fortunate to no longer have small children in the house; by the time they're The Young One's age, they pretty much have the ability to amuse themselves. Of course, there is no one else around a great deal of the time to help with homework or drive them to all of the places they have to go, or discipline when it's required, but it's something you get used to. And my house is often less than spotlessly clean - you learn to compromise.

[WickedStepMom]

I have no idea how to do it. First, my girls are older. And second, because I am not-Mom I get away with a lot more... They are willing to compromise and work with me if it is ever just the four of us. And I know that is a luxury not everyone has.

So, I am sending you lots of hugs to get to Saturday.

[Camille]

I just never had kids. Maybe someday, but not today. I'm pulling for you! You can do it!

[Baba]

I'm sorry Jen but I know you will be just great. Yes sprite will give you a hard time with some things (like wanting to wear her pj's to school and to the store) but you will make it.
Your blogger friends are worth their weight in gold.....they have some great idea's.
And again I'm sorry I had to leave I'll try to make it up to sprite soon.

[Isabel Princes]

I don't really have advice on how to do it, other than trying to control everything with preconcieved ideas will make it 20x harder.
Since it's just a few days I would say let her decide what she wants to do within reason (i.e nothing and/or nobody will be destroyed or die) and buy lots of bubbles, chalk, shaving creme. That'll take a good 5 hours of your day lol, at least for my kids it did/does.

[mrsbear]

My husband is gone every third day for 24 hours. Somehow I got used to it, I don't know that there was a trick other than putting one foot in front of the other, one meal after the next, and just do it. Last year though, he was gone for a full week for training out of state. Dude. I was so close, so close to requesting a straight jacket, you have no. idea. Sounds like you're doing splendidly without your mom, she must have taught you well. ;)

[DeeMarie]

Being a single with no kids, I pretty much get to do whatever I want. Like last night. You know what I had for dinner? 3 mini Hershey's bars with Peanut Butter. Yep. That's how we singles roll while we're watching Bring It On: All or Nothing for the bazillionth time (So not kidding).

[mama badger]

Hmm. When PB is gone, I whine. Just like you. But we make it. LG somehow knows that there is no "tag out" and that if he pisses me off, all is lost. And we welcome PB back like a travler to Hawaii. Open arms, leis, and drinks for everyone.

Good luck!

[Lisa (Jonnysmommy)]

Hubby is at work every night so it is always just Jonathan and me at night. I love the weekends when we are both home and I get a bit of a break. But still, I do the bath and the bedtime routine and usually the cajoling into eating routine. Hubby watches Jonathan in the morning and is there when I need him though. He's only about 10 minutes away so if I have a real break down he rushes home to help out. Bath time breaks things up and then if I'm really tired from work, so does Veggie Tales or Phineas and Ferb. Sometimes I just have to plop the kid in front of the Tv. But get this...now he wants to play all the time and have me read books. Ah crap....I have to be a real mom and can't snooze in the chair until it's bed time. :-)

So, stop whining, lady...you could have it a lot worse. :-)

[Cameron]

I'm the one who gets to skip town every once in a while, so I can't really answer your question, other than to say my wife stocks up on liquor right before I leave....hmmm.

[bex]

i am a stay at home mom and my hubs goes out for weekend fishing trips or after work he likes to go out for beers. so i cope with it with a lot of bitterness and resent. i don't recommend that though.

[GreenJello]

When you're a single parent, the dynamics change a lot in your household. The older kids have to step up to the plate and be older than they should have to (babysitting and such), you get next to no sleep (3 hours a night was good), and you let a LOT of things slide (I guess we can mop the floor now. It's been a month.).

You handle it because that's the only way to survive. You rarely have any "alone" time (I loved driving to and from work. My quiet time...), and you are constantly on the go.

Ya do whatcha have to do.

[Laurie]

My husband's travel schedule is quite sporadic with him in the Coast Guard, so I sortof have to be on the ready at all times in case he ends up having to fly somewhere with little or no notice. When I do hear that he will be gone for a few nights, it's like a switchgoes on and I change into "single parent" mode. I know it's gonna be harder if I whine about it or get mad at the kids and cause more strife. I certainly follow a more rigid evening/bedtime schedule when I'm on my own. And I usually buy at least a few pints of Ben & Jerry's to get me through!

Good luck.

[Kingsmom]

Just think of all the fun you're having!! Lucky for me the hubby doesn't travel. I scored in the super helpful hubby department as well. I'll be thinking of you.

[Pseudo]

My husband works in a hotel - mostly nights and weekends. My mom is in california and when she does come she wants to be treated like a tourist and is a lot of work. so, I felt a lot like a single mom raising my kids and always envied my friends whose husbands were home nights or whose moms loved to help out.

Your mom sounds like a delight and sorry she had to leave early.

[Maureen at IslandRoar]

Little things, little things. Easy meals, one night eating out (cheap), movie night...
And routine. But by the time you fall into it,he'll be back.
When you're always alone, routine is what saves you.

[blissfully caffeinated]

Every time, and I mean EVERY SINGLE TIME, my husb goes out of town for more than 2 days my kids vomit the entire time. So our activities consist of vomiting, cleaning up the vomit, projectile diarrhea, cleaning up the projectile diarrhea, taking temperatures, doing laundry and trips to the ER. And don't think I don't have my own mother come over and help, because I can't handle two kids vomiting ceaselessly by myself.

[Heidi]

I make it through with copious amounts of wine after the Kidlette goes to bed, and bribing her with lots of graham crackers in the hopes that if she can gum on that for just five more minutes I can still claim that I have retained my sanity. It's a lie, but the ilusion is what's important.

[K]

My husband has to travel for work and it sucks. It is very hard to single parent (even for a few days).

The way I cope - just focusing on one day at a time. I also don't worry too much about housework and the stuff that can just wait until he comes back.

Good luck.

[Casey]

Oh no, to have backup dangled in front of your face like that and then ripped away! Jamie usually travels about 2-3 weeks a year for work and those are the days when I rely heavily on TV. It's sad but true. You'll make it, you're almost there...