Review: Is there really such a thing as "Confident Parenting"?

The book: Stop Second-Guessing Yourself-- The Toddler Years: A Field-Tested Guide to Confident Parenting

The author: Jen SInger

The history: Jen Singer is famous (and a bit notorious) as the founder of MommaSaid.net and the Founder of Please Take My Children To Work Day. And her name is Jen. Therefore she is awesome. (I'm not biased, just leaning..)

The task: Read and review her book.

The reason: Sprite, 2 1/2 years old, a toddler, notorious for zeroing in on helpless dogs and demanding ad nauseum renditions of "Sing 'I know you!' "

The ambition: To thwart the child ("Sprite") in her evil toddler schemes before someone or something gets hurt or broken. Or both.

The time frame: Until patience is lost. Or hair. Or both. (Would prefer neither.)

I've heard Jen Singer's name through the blogosphere before and even recognized her by line in several Parenting magazines which I have a lifetime subscription to (yet seem to spew the same three tips over and over) and was genuinely interested in seeing what she had to say, although I wasn't too optimistic, considering I had already read a few blogger turned author parenting books and have yet to finish one of them due to interruptions and just plain boredom. (Not naming names..)

I brought the book everywhere with me for the last week and read it every time I had a few minutes. The book is broken down into simply read chapters that are only about 20 pages each, include real snippets from fellow moms who have had "that mom" moments, and covers the gamut from "The transition to toddlerhood" all the way to the day he runs instead of toddles off to preschool with everything from the sibling wars to tantrums to potty training (Ugh! The dreaded potty training!!) in between. The layout of the pages made it easy to tune in directly to where I dropped off last time and tune out when something important like a dog's tail was in jeopardy.

I even taught Sprite how to blow her nose in minutes just from this book! She forgot the next morning and I had to teach her again, but someday soon, she won't need the reminder anymore, and I won't need the BULB FROM HELL.

The departure from the same old every day advice you read in the parenting magazines is that you're getting a wide range of toddler issues that rise up at some point during your kid's progression and (your subsequent regression) through the toddler years. You're also getting a pretty good laugh with it. There were several LOL worthy moments in this book and I even had it with me during a trip to the ER. (The Pediatric nurses raised a few eyebrows to see me walking Sprite through the hallways with a parenting book tucked into my diaper bag, but I let them speculate.) (Sprite's fine now. There's a post- or two- coming soon about that.) The book kept me smiling in a situation where concern and honest fatigue had already chipped away my sanity which kept me from chipping away at the nurse's sanity with my endless questions. (And we all know the parents are worse than the kids when it comes to hospitals.)

The other departure from the parenting magazines is the tone. Jen's message throughout the book stays the same. Just love the kid and accept (and maybe even embrace) that perfection shouldn't be striven for, that the parenting brass ring is merely an illusion. Accept that not every moment will be farting rainbows and Goldfish crackers over a childish yet artistically drawn picture suitable for fridge framing. Accept that the vision of traipsing through the sprinklers on a warm summer day and cooling off with a popsicle that mysteriously doesn't drip may just fall short of the reality of your two year old cutting a gash into his toe with the sprinkler head you told him time and again not to kick at, the same sprinkler head which fought back with it's in-animation and won, and then calling it quits when he steps in dog poop left by the neighbor's cocker spaniel. Oh, yeah. And you're out of popsicles.

Jen also reminds you that everyone will most likely go through the same growing pains you are. Just consider it a learning moment, laugh about it, and then get yourself a blog so others can laugh at with you too. (Honestly? The "fail" stories are so much funnier.)

So, yeah, this book gets a pass from me. A "pass it on" if you will. I'm opening the comments until Saturday at midnight (EST) for you to win your very own copy! That's right! Just leave a comment on this post, once please, and you'll be entered. This book is perfect for those just leaving the baby phase with their kids and still looking wide (and maybe a bit wild) eyed at the impending walking, talking, talking back phase. It's also great for those who seem like they need a life line while treading water in the woes of a Wonder Pets marathon.

Remember, on Saturday, midnight to be exact, the comments will close and I will pick a winner using the always fair and never impartial Random.Org generator to select the winner, and then maybe select the winning numbers for the lottery.

Good luck!

Oh, yeah! I need a pull quote! Every reviewer has a pull quote, right? You know, like "Sprite's Keeper gives it four star stickers!" or "Sprite's Keeper says, 'I laughed, I cried, I mopped up the grape juice spill with it!' " Or maybe, "Sprite's Keeper says, 'Who said toddlers didn't come with training manuals?' "

Let me know which one is best and maybe Jen will take pity on me.

(Oh, yeah. This will not be the same germ infested book that made it through the bowels of the ER. I heard that germs don't travel well anyway..)

Comments

[Libby]

I've already decided that I don't want my kids to be perfect. I figure if I really screw them up they can make a career out of going on Oprah and writing tell all memoirs. You know, like Leta Armstrong.

[Michelle]

Sounds like a great read! Sign me up.

[WickedStepMom]

(Don't pick me, I can't use it.)

I am glad that you found something that was really helpful! I have long said that kids need a manual. I also will tease Bear about leaving the kids manuals at the hospital.

[Robin]

I like the training manual pull-quote. Clever!
Even though they have a clear editorial direction, parenting mags often find it hard to maintain a steady voice with all the different writers and their various points of view. Which is why sometimes books ARE the way to go. Not that I should be knocking my own industry, but it's the truth. ;)

[RiahLi]

Sounds like a great read! I'd love a new parenting book to read with some fresh ideas, or even just some great laughs. I've got three boys three and under and one on the way. I need it!

[Oakhurst First]

I just found your blog while googling "Sprite". I've already bookmarked you.

We're just starting the toddler years and desperate to figure out how to manage temper tantrums

[blissfully caffeinated]

It's nice to know there may be a parenting book out there that is actually helpful. Instead of condescending and useless.

BTW, mah spin is up! http://tinyurl.com/r2mh9b

[Kingsmom]

I SO need this book. If for no other reason than I too would like to ditch the bulb from hell. Oh, yeah and I have a 27 month old who's tantrum last night brought me to tears.

[Jan]

LOL - I'm partial to the grape juice pull quote myself.

Although I am way past the age where I am raising toddlers (excuse me for a moment while I do a HAPPY DANCE), I will still be interested in winning the book, so I may give it to my stepdaughter in a couple of years. After she's realized that, yes, it may be awhile before he'll give it up to the potty and has decided to subsist on a diet of Cheerios and microwavable mac 'n' cheese.

[K]

I love parenting books.

I'll have to check this one out.

[Jennifer M.]

I've got to say that I stumbled on your blog from a like in Betsy Shaw's on babycenter and it's cracked me up for the past few days. I pretty much read one blog and then had to go through all the archives to get up to date. It's a wonder my co-workers haven't come over to check on me since I have repeatedly had to hide behind my monitor until I could quit laughing. The Kashi Crunch was a killer! Looking forward to more posts. I've been debating on starting my own blog and you may have just pushed me over the edge. :o)

[Captain Dumbass]

My five year old still doesn't get the concept of blowing his nose.

[mama badger]

Is it hardcover, so that I can use it to wonk my kid over the head when I get tired of getting stabbed during the "I'm learning how to use a fork" stage?

I like the instruction manual tag, too. Sign me up.

Hope the ER wasn't too bad...

[Lisa]

I was waiting for the ER story. I hope Sprite is OK. I would read more books about discipline and such, but I'm usually pulling my child off the top of the island in the kitchen or out of the toilet where he's thrown a phone or off the dog, a Jack Russell mix, which he thinks he can ride like a pony.

BTW, your Hubby may be right about the squirrels in your attic. If you know what I mean. :-)

[GiGi @ Incrementum]

A manual for raising kids!?!?! Fantastic! I might just rethink my "parenting is too scary. say no to having kids" position.

PS: Don't include me in the raffle. I might change my mind again after your soon to come post regarding the ER.

[mrsbear]

You'd think by kid four I wouldn't need a manual, but I do, I really really do. Just the tip on how to get him to blow his nose is coveted!

[Rachel]

I like the "pull line" involving star stickers.

If I don't win I'm obviously going to need to go pick up my own copy of this book. All the challenging toddler stuff that never ocurred to Elizabeth is full force in Lilli. Speaking of Lilli, I don't suppose we could trade children for a bit? Every time I try to sing "I know you" lately (formerly the favorite for Lilli also), she says "No 'I Know You', sing bunny foo foo!". I'm so SICK of Little Bunny Foo Foo! Waaaaaaaaah!

[Jim Styro]

I got that beat - my SEVENTEEN-YEAR-OLD doesn't get the concept of blowing his nose!
(OMG - it sounds like I'm bragging about this...)

[Casey]

I like the grape juice quote the best but they're all good.

I need this book, if only for the nose blowing tactic. That's the most annoying thing to teach a kid, I need the answer, now. Ugh, toddlers are "difficult".

[kim/hormone-colored days]

I'm glad you enjoyed the book! Jen contacted me on Twitter with an offer to try it, but I told her I break into a sweat juts thinking back on those buys, busy years. Glad Sprite is okay. Yes, gotta lose that ER virginity some day...

[Jen Singer]

Thanks for the wonderful review. Together, perhaps we can create a nose-blowing revolution. Or maybe we'll just be happy not to be our toddlers' giant walking tissues anymore.