All's Fair In Love And Fishies

"Hey, here's the fishie puzzle!" I pulled the wooden Melissa and Doug board from the high shelf and set it down on the low table for Sprite to get a look. She immediately sat down and waited for me to rearrange the colored inserts so she could match the colors and right my intentional wrong.

I sat with her, watching her complete the puzzle, watching her mind at work. I noted how she did not pull every insert out and then rearrange them neatly. She went one by one, swapping a purple piece for a pink to find its rightful home, moving on to the blue, one by one across the board until everything was uniform.

"All done!" she proclaimed. I dumped the pieces out again and rearranged them for her to do it again.

The door to the classroom opened and a teacher entered, followed by three toddlers. One of them came over and watched Sprite as she attacked the puzzle.

"That's an orange one. It goes in the orange fish," he instructed as Sprite picked up an insert.

"Thank you, Kenny. That was very helpful," I replied, smiling at him.

How cute, he's helping her.

He commented on every color she touched until the puzzle once again sat finished.

"Sprite, let's give Kenny a turn."

Sprite looked at me under heavy lids. I knew she wanted to continue playing with it, but the poor boy desired a chance. And, being her mother, I would have to be the one to sacrifice her fun. "Sprite, we need to share. Let Kenny have a turn, please."

I pushed the puzzle toward him and mixed the pieces exactly as I had done with Sprite. I watched as he took all the pieces out and then put them back one by one. Different approach to the same result.

"Done!" he announced.

"Good job! Okay, Sprite's turn now!"

Sprite clapped her hands, ready to have at it again.

"No."

I looked back to Kenny, who was now hovering over the puzzle, his brows scrunched together. "No, my puzzle."

Excuse me? "Kenny, we're supposed to share. You just had a turn. It's Sprite's turn now."

"No, mine."

My smile faltered. How could I put it so he would understand? "Kenny, Sprite let you have a turn. You finished your turn. It's Sprite's turn now."

"Puzzle! My turn!" Sprite added, her voice taking on the "I'm about to test my vocal range if you don't get this flipping game back" level.

"No!" Kenny barked, leaning over farther still until his body completely covered the fish. "My fishies!"

He scowled at Sprite as I scowled at him. The little pisher had taken my act of kindness and stepped all over it. So. Not. Cool.

"Come on, Sprite, let's find something else to play with." I took her hand and led her away from the table to the rug on the floor where two girls were playing with baby dolls. Sprite forgot her love of fishies and grabbed a doll to join the fun. All the while, I kept an eye on the little thief who carted the prized puzzle with him as he walked about the room. Finally, he placed the board down and made his way to a teacher. He had abandoned the puzzle.

I watched him. He paid no attention to us or the puzzle, his back turned to confirm that yes, he was done with it. (Read your Toddler Handbook, Section 203. "Once the child turns his back on the toy, the toy becomes available for the next child. No give-zees back-zees.")

"Sprite," I whispered.

"Mommy," she whispered back.

"The fishie puzzle. It's free."

"Fishie puzzle." Her eyes stayed on her doll.

"Go get the fishie puzzle." I pointed to it's new location. Come on, I thought, get the puzzle back.

Sprite dropped the doll, walked over to the puzzle, and picked it up. That's my girl!

"No, my puzzle!" Kenny shouted from across the room as his mouth opened in horror. Sprite looked over and saw him break out into a run. She paid him no heed as she brought the puzzle over to me and sat down with her recaptured trout trophy.

Kenny ran over as fast as his three year old legs could carry him. "Sprite took my puzzle!" he shouted, looking to me, the only adult paying attention, for help.

I held my hands up. "Kenny, you left the puzzle. Sprite gets to play with it now (you little punk)."

His face grew red as he realized this adult would not see things his way. "That's not fair!" he shouted.

"Sorry, Kenny. You can wait your turn or find something else to play with. And use your indoor voice please," the teacher interjected, finally coming over.

He looked at the teacher in dismay and then back to me. Two adults just shot him down? He burst into tears and ran for the corner.

"All's fair in love and fishies," I said under my breath. Sprite heard and repeated me word for word, leaving me a little chagrined for my obvious lack of patience with the toy tyrant.

A little.

I really need to work on my social skills..

Comments

[The Dental Maven]

I think we went to the same parenting school.

[blueviolet]

He was a little punk. If he doesn't mend his ways, one day he'll be swimmin' with the fishies.

[Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy]

oh toddlers. gotta love 'em!

[WickedStepMom]

I am surprised that he did that. Most toddlers will not even take notice to a toy once they turn their back.

Its so awesome that Sprite said that though!

[sherendipity]

Ya! Take that, you little punk!

[Jan]

Ah, the whole "MINE! MINE! MINE!" toddler thing.

Oldest Son? Always the diplomat, usually yielded said toy to the rotten brat demanding it and went to find something else, that was far more fun, to do.

Darling Daughter would turn on the charm until the toy was right back into her own chubby little paws. She still can do that.

The Young One was likely to scream right back at the other child and then proceed to beat him with said toy until the other child crawled away, quivering and whimpering in defeat.

They learn. Quickly. Oh, yes.

[Robin]

Too funny! I probably would have done the same thing. :)

[Keely]

Heh, I think Kenny needs work on his social skills, not you. It's not like you let fly with a volley of curse words ;)

I'm kind of surprised he was so focused on it after he dropped it, too.

[HeatherPride]

Oh, this age is so fun, isn't it!! One minute it's all fun and games, the next it's all rants and raves! Logan is just as likely to be the bad kid as he is the good kid, so I thank my lucky stars when he's the good one and hope to heck no one is judging him (I mean me) too much much when he's the bad one!

[Lisa]

I can just see your chart: "Does not play well with others."

Tsk. Tsk.

:-)

[bessie.viola]

Ugh, I can't stand that... I don't think I'm going to do well with this when Madeline is Sprite's age!

Glad that Sprite handled it so well, though.

[GreenJello]

That's the biggest reason kids should have siblings-- you have to learn to share!

[Shannon]

A momma after my own heart. It is so hard to try to teach my 3 year old to have manners when some of the other kids obviously, um, dont. I applaude your efforts to teach not only sharing, but how Karma works. Kenny, meet karma, karma, do your work.

[Camille]

I hate that little jerk, Kenny. What a lame-o. Sprite's the best. (Hi, I have loyalties.)

[april]

haha!! too cute!! we had a kenny incident the other day, and I had to intervene on my daughter's behalf. so i understand... I so understand

[CDB]

I could relate to every single word.. so it doesn't suddenly get better when they're three. Hm, good to know.

I started trying to teach my 21-mo old how to share with the dogs, since he sucks at it with other toddlers. It's resulted in some serious tug-o-war battles.

[Kat]

When I hear kids say the word mine my mind goes to the seagulls in "Finding Nemo" and I laugh and then all is right in the world again.

[Captain Dumbass]

Yay Jen!

[Kingsmom]

I would have done the same. Way to go!

[Mrs. C.]

Ah, sharing is fun, sharing is good. Sharing is not taught in all homes as it should be. Neither is kindness, niceness, or listening to what a grownup tells you. Kenny needs to be exposed to more of such things if he is to be a productive member of society.

And if he doesn't behave Sprite's mommy will stuff a Lego up his nose...

No, just kidding. I have the same struggle at school, especially when I am teaching in one of my kids' classes and another kid steps over the line with them. Then I have to balance the Mama Lion instinct with the professional-person responsibility to manage the classroom.

[Cameron]

Jen, next time just push little Kenny down and steal his toy :)

[Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)]

I would have done the same thing...great job, Mom! ;)

[Rachel]

Muhahahahaha! Little punk deserved it. That so would have been me. Kids like that drive me berserk and I completely enjoy thwarting them. The girls always handle that stuff like ladies, and I do not.

[FoN]

It's good Sprite learns now how boys operate. That story can now serve as a basic version of all future relationships.

[Casey]

Grrrrrrrrr. We deal with this crap every time we go to Gymboree. Other people's kids act like little aholes and I have to make Graham give up something that he patiently waited for to shut the other kid up. I hope Kenny gets some manners soon, it drives me nuts when kids act like that (and mine isn't allowed to or I'll beat him down).