The Spin Cycle: Can you send a husband to time out?

Whack!

"Sprite, no hitting!"

Whack! Whack! What is this, a two for one?

We were sitting in my parents' family room, wrapping up a long Labor Day/mitzvah weekend and John's parents and his nephews were also present to see my own toddler hitting her mother like I was a pinata and candy must surely be inside.

I turned away from her and tried to control my smile, especially since she was looking for it. I regained composure and then pointed her to the front door.

"Sprite, go sit near the front door, you're in time out."

Since her usual time out spot is near the front door at our home, I decided this would be best. She looked down at the floor and started to make her way to the entry rug where she turned around and looked at me, still sitting 18 feet away in the same spot where she had swatted me.

"Sit down," I ordered.

Her tushy hit the floor and she began her punishment.

John came over and noticed her following my directions and then motioned for his mom and my mom to come over and "see Sprite in time out!"

All four grandparents formed a wall of "Aahh! How cute!" as they watched Sprite sulk on the entry rug.

I'm sorry, but when did disciplining a child become a spectator sport?

Sprite, now aware that her audience was watching, began her usual form of time-out-acting-out by turning around and starting to crawl toward her beloved fans with a huge smile on her face. (I'm surprised no cameras were pulled out during this event.) John emerged from the group of admirers and went over to her, placing her back on the entry rug. "Now, Sprite, you're not supposed to hit Mommy. Mommy loves you very much and I...." He was putting on a show for the grandparents!

I stopped listening as I rolled my eyes skyward. Super Nanny? Are you there? Can I send John to time out?

John then sent Sprite over to apologize to me, but her memory had now successfully repressed the transaction that had landed her in solitary, and was confused as to why she needed to apologize. I continued to sit there while Sprite looked at me with a blank stare, wondering what to do next.

"Give Mommy a kiss!" John urged, the gallery of grownups still monitoring the little felon's every move. Sprite then walked around me and popped a kiss upon my back.

Damage done. Crime forgotten.

I've tried (a couple of times) to teach John the time out technique. I'll give you the brief run down. The child does something wrong (break a rule, tie up a sibling, torture the dog, etc.). You give the child a warning. The child continues the heinous activity. You send the child to time out. The child is supposed to sit there for 1 minute for every year of his life (which seems to be getting shorter on a day by day basis). If the child tries to leave the time out spot, you are to remind them that they're in time out and bring them back to base. Only once. After that time, you don't say anything, just fetch the fleeing child and bring them back to the spot where time out begins again until they serve their full sentence. (I've been told that one time out session can take YEARS.) After time out is over, you come over to the child and release them only after telling them why they were in time out and collecting an apology for the crime the child committed. Then the child is off and running, finding another law to break.

I have asked John before not to interfere when I'm trying to discipline Sprite, especially since I'm the one usually sending her to time out. (Will the bad cop please raise her hand?)

I'm making up my mind. Next time, he interjects with my punishment regime, he's going to time out too. And his time out won't be in his office. Too many of his toys there. More like the master bathroom. With a sponge and a bottle of Clorox Clean Up. A minute for every year, right? He can get a lot done in 31 minutes.

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Here are the other entries for The Spin Cycle on "discipline":

Krystal over at Mommy's Escape

Debbie over at Buzzin' By

Arwen over at Spors in the Desert

HeatherPride over at The Short Bus

Becca over at The Katz Cradle

Wicked Step Mom over at Life and Times of a Wicked Step Mom

Heidi over at The World According to Heidi

Lisa (Jonny's Mommy) over at Boondock Ramblings

Ali over at Allinole

Please take the time to link over and read the entries, all of them great spins and different from each other.

Next week's subject will be "Impressions". Take this any way you want. First impressions, last impressions, Impressionistic Era, butt impressions on the couch cushions, just go with it!

Thanks for Lisa over at Boondock Ramblings for the suggestion. I really hope hers involves butt kissing. She had something going there in yesterday's post..

Remember, you have until Friday the 12th to hand in your assignments. Spelling will be checked and proper punctuation is a must. Jimmy, no cheating! (Whoa, that was completely unneccessary..)

Enjoy the weekend and we'll see you here next week on The Spin Cycle!

Comments

[WickedStepMom]

Next time John is in trouble, can you make him come clean my house too?

[Allinole]

I want to see a picture of the two of them in time out.

[HeatherPride]

hmmmm, good idea. Here I've been giving Skip the silent treatment all this time, and I could have had sparkling toilets instead!! I like it!

[Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings]

Seriously...what is with men trying to show off in front of their families. And what is it with toddlers slapping their mommies around? I'm Jonathan's personal punching bag at home. He shoves me and hits me and sits on me. What the heck! And Hubby totally does not get the whole time out thing and he totally doesn't get it that once I've told Jonathan he's done something wrong he's been told -- Hubby doesn't have to come over and tell him the same thing. It's like saying, "Mommy just told you, but now I'm going to tell you because I'm the one that matters."

What?! Hello!!!!!! OH yeah and I'm going all over that butt kissing thing next week...yeah baby.

[Sprite's Keeper]

And the gloves come off!

[jenboglass]

Husbands don't do too well with time outs. So instead of punishing him that way, I just invite his in-laws over. That gets him.

[Casey]

I'm impressed that time outs work on Sprite. We're in the beginning stages of using them and Graham gives me that F Off look, especially when he knows I'm busy feeding his sister and can't get up to chase him at the current moment. Apparently, its illegal to use the dog crate for time outs so I guess that's out of the question.

How do children learn to shoot daggers out of their eyes at such a young age?

[Allinole]

I am not missing this week's spin. Here it is: http://blog-of-ali.blogspot.com/2008/09/impressions-spin-spin-spin.html