Sprite's Keeper

Once More, With Feeling!

John, you should know better by now than to start singing "Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes" with a toddler on his shoulders for Sprite can now follow the song for the most part. And everyone knows a toddler's passion is acting out the song's directions as exuberantly as possible.

"Eyes and ears and-"

"Mouth and-"

"Nose!"

John, I'd help you and all, but how else will you learn?

If this is her idea of a lovie, she has another think coming..

Ten minutes after putting Sprite to bed, John called out to me.

"Come see her."

"What do you mean?" I called back, not looking up from my laptop.

"Jen, you don't want to miss this."

I put the laptop aside and joined him at Sprite's door, looking through the glass panes into the darkened interior.

She was in bed. So was Minnie Mouse. So was Bear. So was...her shopping cart? What the..?

"John, get the camera."

I stood there at the door, looking through the glass as she lay there in her bed, acting as if nothing was wrong with this picture. She smiled at me from her prone position and blew me a kiss as if to say "Nothing to see here! Move on, please! Good night, Mommy! Love you!"

John came over with the camera and I shot a few for posterity's sake. And for future embarrassment when she starts bringing the boyfriends around.

Then I took the cart off the bed and put it back on the floor near her bookcase.

"Good night, Sprite. The cart cannot sleep with you. Only your animals can."

"Good night, Mommy." Mwa! "Love you!"

"I love you too, sweets."

I closed the door and went back to my computer.

The monitor lights erupted, showing me there was movement in Sprite's domain again. Not even two minutes had passed.

I walked over to her room again and saw the shopping cart back on the bed and Sprite faking sleep, curled up on her pillow.

Right, kid.

I walked in and picked up the cart. "The cart will sleep outside your room tonight, Sprite."

Sprite smiled.

"Say 'Good night, cart'."

"Good night...car."

Close enough.

Rats. Foiled again!

Hello?

Blogging on the road is cool!

(And that sentence was so not cool.)

(But I do like the fact that I can start a paragraph at mile marker 76.4 and finish at mile marker 74.8. I would have finished at mile marker 76.0, but "Dancing Queen" came on the IPod and, I'm sorry, but you try to make it through "Dancing Queen" without singing to it. You can't!)

All right there, peeps. It's gonna be a weekend, full of long lost relatives, some I can't wait to see, some I wish would, um, my mom reads this blog and I'm sleeping at her house, so to keep my sleeping situation stable, I will refrain from any snarking on family until I am safely home in Fort Myers again. Or until I unplug Mom's Internet connection. (Remember, my IT department is on this trip, although he is currently barking along to "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?", which came up immediately after ABBA. Eclectic.)

The Spin Cycle: Crack That Whip!

Wow, the first entry for next week's Spin Cycle is up and running!

Just so you all know, you have until next Friday to submit your spins on "Discipline", but some people just have more, um, self discipline. Perfect wording, Jen. (Thanks!)

Krystal over at Mommy's Escape

As the entries come in, I'll add them to this post and then will link them again next Friday's.

I also wanted to say thanks for all the participation. This collaboration is a lot of fun, and I love seeing all of your spins on pretty much anything.

A Saturday update! No, scratch that. A SUNDAY updated that was actually posted Saturday except yours truly wasn't disciplined enough to get her butt in gear to check on the blog since she was too busy trying to dodge questions from the in-laws and out-laws and common-laws. So, an apology from me and a funny and true entry from:

Debbie over at Buzzin' By

Monday update!

Arwen over at Spors in the Desert

Tuesday! (Seriously? Tuesday? It feels like Monday. Um, checking calendar. Oh. Hello, Tuesday. And that is my only hatred of holiday weekends. It completely screws you up time wise.)

HeatherPride over at The Short Bus

Becca over at The Katz Cradle

Wicked Step Mom over at Life and Times of a Wicked Step Mom

The Spin Cycle: And Yet Work Gets Done..

It's time for the Spin Cycle!

You've had a week to come up with a post about work and a lot of you began posting immediately last Friday which made my weekend a joy, because every time I logged into my site, I found something new and interesting to read. So far, so awesome! (I know it should be "good", but you guys are so much better than that.)

Here are the entries. Some of them may be new to you. Link on, spread some commenty love, and bask in the knowledge that all is right with your world. (And if some things are wrong, use this as an opportunity to PRETEND all is right.) (And I'm really sorry if things are wrong.) (Smile!)

Ali over at Allinole-Posted Friday!

Krystal over at Mommy's Escape-Posted Friday!

Debbie over at Buzzin' By-Posted Friday!

Krystal over at Momm's Escape PART II-Posted Friday!

Wicked Step Mom over at Life and Times of a Wicked Step Mom-posted Saturday!

Kirst over at My Life For The World To See-posted Saturday!

Cyndi over at The Adventures of Harry Jack -posted Sunday!

HeatherPride over at View From The Short Bus -posted Sunday!

Lisa over at Boondock Ramblings  -new this week!                 

Arwen over at Spors in the Desert -new this week!

Becca over at The Katz Cradle -done last month, but it could be new to you!

Lisa over at Boondock Ramblings Part II -new this week!

Heidi over at The World According to Heidi -new today!

And here's mine:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jen's daily work schedule:

8AM- Log into system. Look up assignments for the day. Go to break room and pour cup of coffee. Chat.

8:15AM- Chat.

8:30AM- Chat.

8:45AM- Arrive back at desk. Start to work assignments.

8:46AM- Oops! Forgot to log into Typepad. Ooh, new comments!

9AM- Blog hop the favorites and comment on respective posts.

9:15AM- Still blog hopping..

9:30AM- Boss is coming! Toggle to assignments. Work assign-

9:31AM- Boss went back inside office. Toggle to Typepad.

10AM- Meeting. (Damn!)

11AM- Run back to desk. Check Typepad. No updates. Start to work assignments.

11:07AM- Idea! Toggle back to Typepad.

11:15AM- Finish drafting post. Start writing photo essay for the weekend.

11:30AM- Phone rings. Back to assignments.

11:45AM- Work assignments. Think about Typepad.

12 Noon- Chat with co-workers who are leaving for lunch. Decline lunch invites since there's still a lot of work to do. Eat lunch at desk while checking email (for the first time).

12:15PM- Work assignments.

12:30PM- While working assignments, daydream about past weekend. Remember that funny thing that Sprite did over the weekend. Call John. Ask him if he saw the funny thing that Sprite did over the weekend. John confirms that he did in fact see the funny thing that Sprite did over the weekend. Agree that our daughter is beautiful and precocious. Ask each other (AGAIN) what we possibly did to deserve such a wonderful child. Ask John what's for dinner. John says pot roast. Agree on which vegetable will accompany the pot roast. Hang up.

12:45PM- Respond to emails. Check Typepad.

1PM- Co-workers filtering back in from lunch. Work assignments.

1:15PM- Check Typepad. No updates. Work assignments.

1:30PM- Check Typepad. No updates. Work assignments.

1:45PM- Refresh Typepad. No updates. Why isn't anyone blogging? Work assignments.

2PM- Work assignments. Boycott Typepad.

2:15PM- Boycott Typepad. Boycott assignments. Call mother.

2:30PM- Check Typepad. No updates. Was there a virtual fire in the blogosphere and I haven't been told?

2:45PM- Work assignments. Check Typepad. Still no updates..

3PM- Meeting. (AGAIN!) (Oh, it's about changing around the desks. Let mind wander..)

3:30PM- Run back to desk. Check Typepad. No updates. There must have been many deaths from the fire. Begin writing condolences post.

3:45PM- Check Typepad. No updates. Call John. Run the "Great Blogosphere Fire of 2008" theory by him. John denies this is possible. Ask John what's for dinner. John reminds me that he had told me pot roast when we earlier spoke. Confirm that this in fact did happen. Hang up.

4PM- Work assignments.

4:01PM- Check Typepad. An update! They're alive!!

4:15PM- Write post.

4:30PM- Boss wants to review an assignment. Toggle to assignments.

4:45PM- Boss is still at desk. Not discussing work anymore, but has segued into his past weekend's activities. Why isn't he leaving? Can't he tell I'm not interested in shooting the-

4:46PM- Boss looks at watch and excuses himself. Finally! Check assignments. One last assignment lingering from the day. Work assignment.

5PM- Stupid assignment is not done! Work more frantically.

5:15PM- Finally! Log out. Wait for John.

5:17PM- Impatiently.

5:20PM- Call John. Ask him how close he is to my office. Complain about my day. Complain about the workload. Complain about the people. Complain about how I didn't even get to take a lunch today. Ask what's for dinner. John hangs up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And now the assignment for next Friday: "Discipline"

That's it. Discipline. Take that word and spin it whatever way you want. Disciplining your child? Your spouse? (Ooh, kinky!) Discipline as in mastering a new skill? Maybe what works for you or others? Super Nanny and her Naughty Spot may be taken to task on this one..

Thanks to Allinole for the idea. Again, folks, any ideas you think of, send them to spriteskeeper[at]live[dot]com.

The next edition of The Spin Cycle will post Friday, September 5. (Wowza, we're in September already?) If you write early and want to post early, then send me the link and I'll add your linked post on as we go.

(Editor's Note: I'll be checking in today at random intervals for any posts from this week's Spin Cycle. Any new ones for "Work" will be added to the blog roll already in progress here. Please allow me until the afternoon to make sure any "Work" posts are added as this morning is going to be rough. The mini-van needs an oil change. Blame Dodge. Oh, and I need to get my nails done. Blame human body growth and whatnot. And I need to eat lunch at some point. Um, that you can blame me for. I can promise that all new "Work" posts will be updated before 3PM. And if there are no new "Work" posts, then this Editor's Note was really not necessary then, huh?)

(Oh, and Arwen? I am trying to play with Mr. Linky ((oh, that just sounds SO WRONG!)), but having issues because Typepad and Mr. Linky don't seem to get along. I'll keep trying to see if we can make it work next week for easier linking and will make my IT department take a look.)

(John just may get that raise after all..)

Have Geek, Will Travel

High speed isn't just for odometers anymore.

John has been dealing with this blogging thing since January. He seems to think I'm a little addicted. Addicted? Me? No! Well, maybe the pen and paper to catch ideas before they fall out of my head can be a little much and I have been known to type as he's talking to me to make sure his words are coming out verbatim, but no addiction here... Right? (Crickets)

John knows that whenever we go to the East Coast for visits with the family, I miss my laptop. I miss it greatly. Nothing to look at besides John's profile (Not that looking at his profile is bad. But if I feel as if someone is looking at me from the side and my peripheral senses are tingling, it tends to creep me out a little and I prefer not to creep someone else out, especially when they're driving at speeds upwards of 70 MPH on an open road! 'Tis all.) and the road ahead. I could look at Sprite, but her eyes are usually focused on the DVD player since she lost interest in pointing out trees a long time ago and the trees just don't look like Elmo no matter what I suggest. (Rural scenery can get a little repetitive sometimes. Tree, water, dirt, gator, tree, tree, gator, tree.. Get it?)

He knows when I have a post brewing, because I get very quiet and a little smile starts to play on my lips. This happens often, although I get interrupted by the traffic and my own backseat driving which can annoy him as well. And then that idea gets snuffed out by the interruption and I lose what I was thinking, where I was going, and what I was going to do. (Sigh) I lose a lot of posts that way..

So, John decided to make my blogging passion a little more mobile and at the same time make his long distance driving a little less nagging.

He hooked my laptop up to his Blackberry phone so I have Internet! On the road! I can blog on the road! (Hey, it's new to me!) (!!!)

This will come in very handy for those trips down the Alley when Sprite is sleeping in the back and John is listening to some of his music that I don't like AND for an immediate posting on any alligator sightings, because, well, you want to know about that, right? Right? (Crickets) (Will someone close the door please? Bugs are getting in!)

I love my IT department. I don't have to pay him much, I don't offer benefits, and there's a lot of overtime. He's loyal to the company though. And thoroughly vested.

So, this weekend, we have a lengthy trip to Fort Lauderdale for a huge family gathering which will most likely take a majority of the weekend. (And my sanity.) (And my patience.) (Oh, God! Not my patience!)

I will try this out for the first time, trying to write a post while on the road. If it comes out jittery, it's not due to the coffee I've been consuming, it's because the roads are in need of some repaving, okay?

Fort Lauderdale, ho! (I'll be taking my IT department with me. Oh yeah, his job requires traveling too. Should I give him a raise?)

"Eight, Nine, Ten, Yay!"

I tiptoe in quietly, Blue right behind me, to check on the sleeping Sprite. She is sprawled diagonally across two thirds of her bed while the other one third is taken up by about a dozen stuffed animals. (Either she's not discriminating against any of her dolls, or we're going to have some problems when she wants to start taking them places.)

Since she's uncovered and her feet are dangling, (Hey, there could be monsters under the bed and everyone knows monsters go for the dangling toes first. Just keeping her safe, people.) I give into the urge to put her back into position and cover her with her blanket.

As I'm moving her, she starts talking. "One, too, thwee, foh, five, shix, shevhen, eight, nihne, ten. Yay."

I pause and look at her face. Her eyes are closed. Her mouth is the only thing stirring as she repeats her numbers and the little cheer at the end. Oh, geez.

I don't know what's worse: the fact that her school (day care, I know) is giving her homework at such an early age or the fact that she seems to think "Yay" is a number always following 10.

I can only imagine her disappointment when she learns about eleven. Not nearly as much fun to say.

Fate Is...

...trying to beat the clock and get your toddler, her things for school, your things for work, your husband, your coffee- FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S GOOD AND HOLY, THE COFFEE!!!, and yourself out the door and loaded into the car with mere seconds to spare before being considered late, and then, while loading your struggling toddler into her carseat and snapping the restraint, smelling what life has in store for you and the next five minutes.

...She had raisins yesterday. Better make it ten.

"Cow"pooling

"Cow."

I turn my head to look at Sprite in the back seat. "Do you see a cow?"

"Cow." She points out the window to the pasture on the right side of the road. (We have a number of pastures with grazing bovines on certain stretches of road so Sprite can see a lot of cows during our morning and evening commutes.)

"That's right. Cows," John adds, his eyes on the road. (Yes, I check.) (Done with love.)

John turns to me. "On our way to get you, she was kissing her Grover doll and saying 'love you.'"

As if on cue, she immediately begins again. "Love you!" Mwah! An exhuberant kiss is bestowed upon Grover.

John interrupts her PDA session with "Say, 'love you, daddy'!"

"Love you."

He tries again. "Say, 'love you, daddy'!"

"Looove youu..cow."

I snicker, sure I heard her right while John tries to decipher it. Nonplussed, he tries again.

"Say, 'love you, daddy'!"

"Love you...cow."

John is now aware of what she's saying. "No, daddy's not a cow." He tries another angle. "Say, 'love you, mommy'!"

"Love you, mommy." Mwah! My furry blue proxy accepts her kiss.

"Say, 'love you, daddy'!"

"Love you...cow."

"No, say, 'love you, daddy'." He's losing patience.

"Love you, daddy." Mwah! Grover gets smooched.

John beams as he looks ahead. "Thank you!"

"Moo!" Sprite giggles.

I can't control my laughter anymore. I love carpooling.

Does your child have SHD?

I've been noticing it for a few months now, afraid to voice my concerns over fears of the feedback.

I've been watching Sprite and something is....OFF.

I've seen other toddlers fall victim to it. I was hoping by limiting her access to modified sugars and high fructose corn syrup, I may avoid it infiltrating our home and my happy toddler. I was wrong.

I think Sprite has it, the same thing that affects so many other children out there. In fact, I know she does.

Evidence:

John and I were sitting on the couch and Sprite walked over to her little bench. I watched as she climbed from the seat to the table and started to stabilize herself to stand up. "Sprite, get down," I said, my eyes on her every move. Sprite acted as if she didn't hear anything and continued to pull her upper body to standing position. "Sprite!" I warned, my voice becoming more authoritative and edging toward Time Out tone. She ignored me.

John looked away from the tv and saw what was happening. "Sprite, get off the table," he said. She immediately crouched down and assumed a sitting position, looking at her father in meek response.

I thought it may be a fluke. Maybe I just looked into it too deeply. Surely, I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. So I denied it. I didn't want to be one of those mothers, you know?

Then it happened again:

I was getting Sprite ready for bed. I tried to call her over to me so I could change her into her night clothes and she went on about her task of putting her stuffed animals to sleep without acknowledging my presence. I sang out the ABC's, nothing. I counted to 5 for surely she would finish the chant, nada. I asked for a kiss, only the sound of my resulting sigh of grief answered my plea. John walked in and asked Sprite where her pajamas were and she ran over to me and grabbed them from my lap.

This was my proof.

I've looked into possible cures for this. Unfortunately, my search has been fruitless as nothing seems to help. I want to make an appointment with her pediatrician, but John claims there's nothing wrong. Of course there's nothing wrong on his end! Sprite responds to him as if on cue! He can't come to terms with something so obvious. A diagnosis must be a beginning, not an end, right?

So, I consulted a friend who told me of a test to give Sprite, one not involving John, which should cement this chilling prognosis. Listening closely, I wrote her directions down word for word and gave Sprite the test that very night.

"Sprite!" I called out. She didn't come out from her room. I called out again, adding, "Sprite, where's Harry?" Surely that would pull her away from whatever she was doing. Harry, given his warning, scurried for the sanctuary under my bed, but Sprite did not answer my call. I tried once more. "Sprite, come see Mickey Mouse!" Her doorway remained empty.

Then, I did it. "Sprite! Want a cookie?"

I heard her before I saw her scrambling out of her room and running to me. "Cookie? Um! Um! Pease!" Her hands were stretched out, waiting for the promised treat.

No more tests. I'm done wondering. I'm declaring it.

My child has Selective Hearing Disorder, SHD.

Check your child closely. From what I'm told, it affects every child in some manner and they have to GROW out of it. And in 10 out of 10 kids, it gets worse before it gets better. The teenage years are even tougher than the toddler years. (I'm scared.)

I've been told the only way to treat SHD is with patience...Do you need a prescription for that?