Does your child have SHD?

I've been noticing it for a few months now, afraid to voice my concerns over fears of the feedback.

I've been watching Sprite and something is....OFF.

I've seen other toddlers fall victim to it. I was hoping by limiting her access to modified sugars and high fructose corn syrup, I may avoid it infiltrating our home and my happy toddler. I was wrong.

I think Sprite has it, the same thing that affects so many other children out there. In fact, I know she does.

Evidence:

John and I were sitting on the couch and Sprite walked over to her little bench. I watched as she climbed from the seat to the table and started to stabilize herself to stand up. "Sprite, get down," I said, my eyes on her every move. Sprite acted as if she didn't hear anything and continued to pull her upper body to standing position. "Sprite!" I warned, my voice becoming more authoritative and edging toward Time Out tone. She ignored me.

John looked away from the tv and saw what was happening. "Sprite, get off the table," he said. She immediately crouched down and assumed a sitting position, looking at her father in meek response.

I thought it may be a fluke. Maybe I just looked into it too deeply. Surely, I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. So I denied it. I didn't want to be one of those mothers, you know?

Then it happened again:

I was getting Sprite ready for bed. I tried to call her over to me so I could change her into her night clothes and she went on about her task of putting her stuffed animals to sleep without acknowledging my presence. I sang out the ABC's, nothing. I counted to 5 for surely she would finish the chant, nada. I asked for a kiss, only the sound of my resulting sigh of grief answered my plea. John walked in and asked Sprite where her pajamas were and she ran over to me and grabbed them from my lap.

This was my proof.

I've looked into possible cures for this. Unfortunately, my search has been fruitless as nothing seems to help. I want to make an appointment with her pediatrician, but John claims there's nothing wrong. Of course there's nothing wrong on his end! Sprite responds to him as if on cue! He can't come to terms with something so obvious. A diagnosis must be a beginning, not an end, right?

So, I consulted a friend who told me of a test to give Sprite, one not involving John, which should cement this chilling prognosis. Listening closely, I wrote her directions down word for word and gave Sprite the test that very night.

"Sprite!" I called out. She didn't come out from her room. I called out again, adding, "Sprite, where's Harry?" Surely that would pull her away from whatever she was doing. Harry, given his warning, scurried for the sanctuary under my bed, but Sprite did not answer my call. I tried once more. "Sprite, come see Mickey Mouse!" Her doorway remained empty.

Then, I did it. "Sprite! Want a cookie?"

I heard her before I saw her scrambling out of her room and running to me. "Cookie? Um! Um! Pease!" Her hands were stretched out, waiting for the promised treat.

No more tests. I'm done wondering. I'm declaring it.

My child has Selective Hearing Disorder, SHD.

Check your child closely. From what I'm told, it affects every child in some manner and they have to GROW out of it. And in 10 out of 10 kids, it gets worse before it gets better. The teenage years are even tougher than the toddler years. (I'm scared.)

I've been told the only way to treat SHD is with patience...Do you need a prescription for that?

Comments

[Allinole]

SHD is contagious. My husband has it. Actually, he has had it the ten years I have known him.

[WickedStepMom]

LOL... All three of mine have it. I usually treat it with, a "Listen or don't but if you don't there will be a time out/no phone use/no TV in your future."

[Baba]

Jen.....you really want to bring this up......oh well I knew someone who had a little girl just like that(I think SHD is mostly a girl thing)Oh and she worked it every day (I think she was getting back at her mom)(mom had to work she had no choice) The mom felt really bad and tried to get her daughter better. But things got better and the mom's daughter grew up and had a GIRL just like her and now she has SHD.
Oh Jen you just left yourself open for this....I love you.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Ladies and gentlemen (oh, who are we kidding? LADIES): My mother.
And everyone wondered if snark is inherited..

[HeatherPride]

Snark AND SHD are inherited? Yeesh, I'm in trouble.

[Sue]

Hey Jen I hate to tell you this, but...well you should know I have SHD-Yep!!! And I am very proud of it :)I do hope Sprite grows out of it for your sake, however I am sure thier is a little part of you with the disorder as well, ummmmmm....

[Trish]

Mine are 13 and 17 and they still suffer from it. No, wait... I'm the one who suffers. But you get my point.

Also, don't discount the Daddy Factor. Both of my children reached a point (at about Sprite's age) where Daddy is far "scarier" than Mommy. Even if Daddy is sweet and loving, he's got a deeper, more forceful voice. So you'll say something and Sprite's thinking, "Oh, it's just Mommy." And then John says it and she's all, "Yikes. Daddy's serious." It's just not fair, but there it is.

[Krystal]

Oh honey - SHD is better than OLDS (Only listen to daddy syndrome)

In my house - SHD and OLDS run rampant!!! Some say it's the autism - I say it's OLDS!!! Whenever I say to do something, it is like watching paint dry! If my hubby just says a peep - they go running! and they call me the mean one! (i'm actually the most accomodating and coddling parent - weird huh?)

[Wendy]

I usually find that banging my head against the wall helps. That's what I already feel like when I want Noah to listen anyway, so I might as well go ahead and do it right? Seriously, I did it one time. It scared the crap out of him. lol.

[Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings]

Yes, I need a prescription and directions on patience. Do you have either? :-)

And my son has it too. He gets it from his father, as others here have said.

Same ole' thing happens at our house. In fact, this weekend, during some of the worse toddler behavior ever (so far), the child actually looked at his father to see if he was going to get in to trouble for something, even though I told him not to do it and then went right back to doing it when his father said nadda.

Great. Huh?

[kirsten]

Meggers and hubby definitely have it!!! I think I might have a touch of it too.
Every morning when Meggers is watching PBS while she eats her cereal I have to pause the channel so that I can get an answer out of her..lol Guess I should cut the TV time out huh?

Kirst

[PAPA]

My girlfriend suffers from the same. I know because I tested her. "Babe, can I get a massage, please?"
Silence...................
"Babe, do you want some ice cream?"
"Yes, the chocolate fudge one, please."
"Can I get a massage afterwards?"
Silence..................

[Jane]

I'm glad to hear reports of spouses and significant others with this problem too, because I have no children and yet SHD is very present in my home.

[Heidi]

all I can say is..."um, good luck with that one" Mike and the kids are still infected with SHD. It even appears in myself once in awhile if you ask Mike. :)

Fran, do you guys have a date of when you're coming? I need to see if I can take any time off. Are Lee and Bryan coming too?

[Cyndi]

LOL - sorry. And if you think acquiring a 'mean voice' will help...well, GL with that! That and the finger point served me well for about a year. Then we had a year or so of both SHD and OLDS. It is getting a bit better at our house, but mostly because of a nice DH who repeatedly insists that they listen to me and consistent removal of privileges. SHEESH, this is work! Happy week!

[Baba]

I belive snark can be inherited, but I belive I got it from my mom and you got it from me...as far as SHD you didn't get it from me becouse if I did that to my mom I would'nt be here today. Ah Sue ...I was talking about Jen.

[HeatherPride]

Wait, does your mom blog too? Because her comments are almost as fun to read! Maybe she can guest post sometime?

[Sprite's Keeper]

HeatherPride- I laughed at your question. I have to laugh, otherwise I would cry...
No, my mom does not blog. If she did, Hilary Clinton would have been the Democrat pick and all restaurants would be forced to carry diabetic meal options, she's that aggresive. (but in a good way..?)
Funny though, her blog could be called "Sprite's Keeper's Keeper" or "Frannie's Follies" or "I Gave Birth To Two Girls Who Put My Life Through Hell and Lived To Tell About It!", but it's easier to just call us and remind us of the last one. I kid. My mom is actually very sweet, a little bit snarky, quick with a guilt trip, and one of my favorite people. ( I figure that last comment should win me some points..)
Oh, and did you know she quilts?

[Heidi]

Jen, I can't imagine you getting your snarkiness from your dad. Must come from your mom! :) I might end up paying for that one when she visits. Luv ya!

[D.M. Wright]

SHD is also present in my house. I think you should make a petition for doctors to prescribe patience to moms. Wait, I think they have some already, only it's called Valium... LOL great post!

[X]

I have it, my boyfriend has it and all my friends have it.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Why is it that we spend so much money studying the effect of birth control on a woman's scent of possible mates and not on SHD? It seems EVERYONE has it!

[andrea frazer]

Okay, that is hilarious. I am seriously sending you over to my editor at BabyCenter. Because that's what you need. Another job. You must get paid for this.

[Sprite's Keeper]

Wow, what can I say to that, but yes, please!
Thanks for the nod, Andrea. It means a whole lot more to me than you realize.
(Blushing)
(Still blushing)
:-)

[Sam]

Damn you- I started reading and thought something was honestly wrong and as I read, I thought, "OMG, how am I gonna comment on THIS! What do I say? What do I do? Should I comment? What if she has Sitemeter and knows I was here and didn't comment? What if she gets mad? What if she thinks I was snubbing her? What if she's mad enough to hunt me down by IP address and goes postal? What will happen to my children?"
Damn you.;)