Void Where Prohibited

"Honey, why don't you take the night off? I've got the kid. Enjoy yourself."

Dear Consumer:

You are in receipt of one (1) voucher for a free night. Congratulations and enjoy! Please see the below terms and conditions of the "Free Night" voucher.

1. Voucher must be redeemed within fifteen (15) minutes of offer. Any delays in acceptance of said voucher or misgivings of voucher render voucher unredeemable.

2. Voucher may be voided at any time if the following conditions occur:

a. Natural disaster or world/civil war

b. Explosions

c. Diaper explosions

d. Sick child

e. Child wants recipient

f. Child looks at recipient

g. Recipient exchanges cross words with Offerer

h. Recipient looks at Offerer cross-eyed

3. Recipient may only redeem voucher at offerer's discretion.

4. Vouchers are non-transferrable. (This includes but is not limited to: caring for pets, cooking dinner, switching laundry)

5. Rainchecks will not be honored.

6. Voucher has no cash value*.

7. Voucher may be voided if:

a. Recipient comes into contact with offerer or child

b. Recipient is in general area of offerer or child

c. Recipient is within 10 miles of offerer or child

8. Voucher may not be sustituted at any time.

9. Voucher is only good from time of redemption until Midnight (EST) or when child is asleep, whichever comes first.

10. Recipient must in turn offer a voucher to the offerer within 48 hours of redemption.

11. Voucher is void where prohibited.

* Voucher may have sex value. Please see offerer for further details.

 

Comments

[Zip n Tizzy]

Very funny!
Did you make it out or did you have to redeem it in the bedroom?

[Sprite's Keeper]

Never went anywhere! But next time, my butt will be out the door before his mouth finishes forming the word "off"!

[Lisa]

Oh. Wow. This sounds soooo familiar! This is hilarious! So going to show this to Hubby. Who will promptly glare at me and say "oh shut up."