It Was Hungry Like One Too..

I hate spiders.

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Sorry, I got the creepy feeling and my fingers spazzed.

It has been raining for 2 straight days in my little Western corner of Florida and the office building I work in is old. Really old. Old enough that words like "yonder" and "ayuh" were tossed around during the construction of this building. Horses were used. Barns were raised. Old.

Anyway, the rains have been flooding our office with drips from the holes in the ceiling as people have been rushing in to escape the drops. And other things have been coming in to escape the weather as well.

We found a roach in the women's restroom yesterday. It was already dead, but still big enough to elicit a scream from all who entered. The entire afternoon was dotted with shrieks coming from the hallway and false alarms. I don't like roaches, but they're not my big problem.

This morning, my problem decided to come in.

A huge wolf spider decided to make its appearance known to my coworker who shares a common cubicle wall with me. She freaked out and enlisted the only man in our office (at the time) to help her get rid of this pest.

Unfortunately, the plan they concocted was not in tune with the spider's motives.

Their plan was to kill it. His plan was to live.

So, he left her area and came over to mine.

(Insert shrieks and mayhem here.)

I fled the immediate area and hopped around, convinced somehow that the wolf spider was able to transport itself from the wall of my cubicle to my body now about 20 feet away and was now on my back, no- my hair, no- wait, I feel something on my leg! djeoirfhyl;iokbdeqkjcv

Sorry, I'm getting the heeby-jeebies just thinking about it again.

So, our resident knight with the paper towel roll somehow coerced the wolf spider back to the other side of wall and subjected it to a mercy killing. Well, more of a Downy killing. (At least it was sponsored by Downy.) (It's the Quicker Spider Killer.)

Ever since, the females of this office have been a little weary of their cubicles, convinced the spider's relatives were just beyond their areas of sight and out for revenge, and the one male has been walking around with his shoulders puffed out, convinced he is God's gift to, well, pest control.

(I guess I should be glad it wasn't one of those mama spiders with all the babies on her back that scatter into a million different directions when you splat Mommy Dearest with a shoe. SPOASGFIUJVGBK- Sorry.)

(Another apology for the Duran Duran reference in the title. I couldn't resist. Dude, I'm getting old.)

Comments

[Lisa]

Oh I so hate spiders. We had one of these spiders in our office one time and finally found a use for that huge dictionary that no one looked at because it was like from the early 1900s and included definitions of things like "thee" and "thou." It was the only time anyone ever touched it and I think the last. THe spider is still flattened on it as far as I know.

[Kirsten]

OMG I cringe with spiders two stories for you...

Where the fear began... Sunbathing in Italy as a young girl, spider with a big ball on it's back makes it's way up the side of my bathing suit to my back, friend tries to swat it off.. babies everywhere.

Early 20's dating cute older guy. Me taking shower, soap suds in hair.. squirming under toes, open one eye, look down, wolf spider under foot... me SCREAMING coming out of shower on all fours, shower curtain & rod along with me. Poor cute older man running through to see if everythings ok, realizing I'm in my birthday suit, grabbing towel, me jumping up and down with the heebie geebee's for about 10 minutes. Needless to say did not work out with cute older man..lol