My sister and nephew were over for the holiday weekend, sharing a spaghetti dinner with John, me, and the noodle flinging blob of sauce formally known as Sprite.
A bug (house fly) (Latin origin unknown, and I am so not looking it up, people) (All right, fine, the Latin name is probably DOMESTICUS IRRITATINGUS, happy?) had somehow gotten into the house and was buzzing around our table, either to try to partake of the meal we were enjoying or perhaps trying to warn everyone else about my cooking and the possible stomach endeavors to follow. Either way, it was annoying, but it did set off a sequence of events never played out in my home before:
Bryan: "Kill the bug!"
Lee Ann: "Bryan, eat your spaghetti."
John:"Where is my fly swatter?"
Sprite:"Nummy."
Bryan: "I can't eat. The bug keeps coming close. It's gonna touch my food."
John: "Seriously, where the hell is my fly swatter?"
Bryan:"Why do we have bugs anyway? They're not good for anything."
Me: "That's not true."
Sprite: "Eat."
Bryan: "Why?"
Oh, crap. He called my bluff. Um.... My mind could not pull up an answer.
Me: "Ask your mom."
Lee shot me a look across the table and then gave an appropriate response. How are we related?
Lee: "All bugs have a purpose here. Either as food for other animals or to help keep the system in order. Every bug has a reason to live."
John: "Except this one." The bug swooped in to pause over his plate and John tried to slap at it.
Swing and a miss.
Me: "This bug is good for nothing, therefore this bug MUST DIE."
Bryan (laughing): "Die!"
Lee: "Jenny..."
Seriously, how are we related?
Bryan: "I don't want this bug near my food!"
Sprite: "Boo!"
Me: "Sprite, stop teasing the dogs."
Bryan: "Go away, bug!"
The bug came to rest in the middle of the table. Sprite threw her handful of noodles to the floor, narrowly missing the beagle. John grabbed the bag of shredded cheese.
Bryan: "Kill it!"
Lee: "Bryan, lower your voice!"
Me: "Sprite, no!"
Sprite: "All done!"
John: "It ends here."
His arm arced in the air and the bag of cheese aimed for the bug.
SWAT!
Oh to be the fly on the wall when this was going down just to watch-damn...I was found out and killed too.
Posted by: Fly | July 16, 2008 at 07:52 AM
Death by Cheese! What a way to go!
Posted by: HeatherPride | July 16, 2008 at 09:20 AM
OK, Just Chicken Feed just wrote about flies too. What is going on with the flies? Oh. It must be summer.
Poor fly....they say cheese will bind some creatures up.
Har! Har!
Sorry...I'm a total dork.
DIdn't you know that yet?
I mean I put up a post last night, decided I haaated it! And then deleted it. I'm a freak I tell you! A freeeak!
Posted by: Lisa | July 16, 2008 at 10:01 AM
Lisa, if you're referring to the dog post, I saw it this morning, tried to comment on it, and then noticed it missing! I thought I was the freak imagining a post when there really wasn't one! What is this world coming to?!
I liked it, my husband does the exact same thing. EXACT SAME THING.
Posted by: Sprite's Keeper | July 16, 2008 at 10:21 AM