Make A Memory

My dad finished college when I was 16 years old. I remember this since we took a week-long vacation to Disney World to celebrate. It had been a long time coming, but he did it. It had been a long struggle for all of us, and I remember the times prior to his graduation when he wouldn't be home for dinner due to school, or had to take weekend classes, late classes, any class to continue his education, balancing this with a full time job and a family with two young daughters. He burned the candle at both ends for years, knowing on one hand that he had to accomplish this goal, worrying on the other that he was compromising his family life at the same time.

I have a fond memory of me at 8 years old, waking up after midnight and wandering into the family room where my dad was set up with textbooks surrounding him, and the television supplying background noise. I had not seen him since that morning and he had just gotten back from his night class. He was studying, highlighter in hand, while a Snoopy cartoon played on the set. (Back then, the Disney Channel often ran Peanuts on it's graveyard schedule.) He looked up as I wandered into the room and smiled. I braced myself for the stern command I knew was coming. "Go to bed."

Instead, he patted the black and white houndstooth pattern couch he was leaned up against. (Remember, this was the 80's.) "Can't go to sleep?"

I nodded and settled on the couch cushions, stealing glances at his book to see if I could understand any of what he was studying. I don't remember now what the subject was, I just remember thinking my daddy was the smartest guy in the entire world right then and there.

We sat there in silence, me enjoying my clandestine tv watching and my dad letting me get away with it RIGHT UNDER HIS NOSE. I fell asleep out there on the couch with the noises from the tv sending me off and woke up in my own bed the next morning, as if the night before had never happened.

Recently, my parents were over in our neck of the woods visiting for the weekend. We took Sprite to the park and brought along their camera. My dad mentioned that he wasn't in a lot of our childhood photos since he was always the one behind the camera, making the memory. He regretted this. I made sure to get my hands on his camera and snap some pictures of him and my mom scampering after Sprite, but his remarks stayed with me and this memory came to mind in an instant.

I look back on those photos of my childhood for help in remembering some events in my life that honestly blur together in such a way that I sometimes forget the plot and cast of characters. Yet, in one of my all-time favorite memories, there are no pictures preserving it, the images are crystal clear, and my dad is the star.

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As told by John:

I don't have a particular memory of my dad which stands out from the rest. When Jen asked me for a memory of my father and me, I took a while to think of it and, even after thinking about it for days, could not give her an answer. So I told her about something I treasure in my father that influences the way I live my life.

My father put his family above everything. Every decision he made was for the family. My dad first came to this country from the Dominican Republic, determined to make a better life for his wife and three children. (Felipe wasn't a blip on the radar at that time.) My family was very comfortable in the Dominican Republic, but did not have access to the same freedom and and possibilities we would have in the U.S.

So, we came over with Green Cards and not much else to our name. My mom and dad worked hard to make it and give us kids everything we needed. None of us had a good mastery of the English language, but we learned quickly. I remember my dad opening a landscaping business and working long hours to see it through. It was hard work and he sacrificed a lot of time and patience to make it successful, but he did. All for us. He could have given up at any time. But he never considered that.

I watched my dad and my mother and the way they were with each other as I was growing up. I never saw my father treat my mother with anything less than respect. He showed her he loved her by his actions, by his words, and by his devotion. He continues to inspire me in the way I live my life and treat my own wife and daughter. In my childhood, he was my dad. As I move into adulthood, he has become my mentor.

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My favorite memory of John:

I wasn't a happy camper in the first minutes after my C-section. My doctor had just shown us the screaming Sprite, still covered in all sorts of yuck (just because it was my yuck doesn't make it any less yucky), and had handed her over to the nurse to clean up and administer the first Apgar test. (Sigh, testing this early in life. No wonder school has a bad rap.)

I told John, in the midst of a rolling dry heave (side effect of the spinal block), "Stay with her. Don't leave her for one second." (My paranoia thought up all sorts of baby switching scenarios.) John agreed and left me to accompany our newborn to the nursery for her bath and first shot.

After I was sewn up and wheeled into recovery, I could barely move my head as the nausea kept reoccuring and I was allowed to hold my daughter briefly. I drifted in and out of sleep due to the painkillers and did not make one movement from my bed.

Every time I stirred awake, I would look over at Sprite's bassinet, set up right next to my bed. It was always empty for her daddy was always holding her, staying true to his promise to me. From that day, I have never doubted where his heart stood in regards to his daughter.

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Happy Father's Day to the men in our lives. And a special shout out to Jeff, who will have a little girl to own his heart in the next month or so.

Comments

[Dad]

The greatest pleasure in a parent's life is to see that their children continue the examples they set with their own. Thank you for the memory. - NOW GO TO BED! Love. -Dad

[Sprite's Keeper]

Aw, thanks, Dad! And, in response to your command, the kid is napping and I could use one anyway, so you got it!

[Lisa]

This is an awesome post. The photos are amazing and touching. Just beautiful!