It's Just the Voice Inside My Head

Have you ever paused and listened?

Truly listened?

Sh.

Do you hear it?

Do you have any flipping clue what I'm talking about? (I really hope not. I'd be worried about both of us.)

Everyone has a voice inside their head.

Okay, okay. Let's not start with the "Ooh, Jen is proving she's certifiable! Exhibit B here, folks!" (We already established that back in January.) (Man, you're behind.)

Just try this little experiment and see what I mean.

(DISCLAIMER! **** Please do not attempt any Sprite's Keeper experiments while driving, sleeping, operating heavy machinery, watching children, watching paint dry, using a hairdryer, using anything with a plug, or thinking.) (Did that cover everything? Um, let's call it a Blanket Disclaimer.)

Go on about your day today. Do what you normally do. Then, just pause and listen. Listen to the voice inside your head. The one with the running commentary. Your lips don't need to be moving. Your mind does. And if your mind doesn't move, you're probably not reading this anyway, so... yeah.

Moving on!

You're probably still a little mystified about this inner voice stuff and wondering if they should cut off my Internet service, so I will be generous and provide you with examples as to what I mean:

Example 1: Jane is at the mall. Jane is walking along, window shopping and meandering from kiosk to kiosk as she samples gelato and hand cream. Her inner voice is talking to her the entire time, although she seemingly acts unaware of it. "Oh, that dress is nice. I wonder if they have it in a size 12. Do people believe me when I tell them I'm a size 8? I like those shoes. Not the woman wearing them though. Acting like she's all that. What laid eggs in her cereal this morning? Did she just sneer at me? Bitch." Jane's inner voice is a fashionista.

Jane's face has not shown any emotion as these thoughts came to mind. She probably isn't even cognizant of it.

If that didn't do it for you, here's another example with some added testosterone for you men-folk:

Example 2: Joe is driving along in traffic. Joe's practical sedan is cut off by a diesel truck hauling ass from the next lane over, which then speeds off leaving Joe puttering in his exhaust fumes at the recommended speed limit. His inner voice is a little peeved. "Stupid jerk. Just because he's driving a big truck, he thinks he owns the road. Heh heh, just wait until he gets to the gas pumps.. I really hope there's a cop ahead with his radar on. A nice ticket would get him good and pissed. Well, look at that, Mr. Big Ass Truck with an even bigger carbon footprint, stopping at the same light as the rest of us peons. Nice to see you again! Did wasting 2 gallons of gas to punch the pedal pay off for ya?" Joe's inner voice holds grudges.

All right, enough examples for you? So, go on about it. Report back if you hear anything interesting. And if anyone's inner voice is a fortune teller, email me. Lotto is coming up soon and Mama needs a new therapist.

(You were thinking it.)

Comments

[Lisa]

Oh my gosh. My inner voice is goin' all the time! Sometimes I have to say, "Girl, shut up! You're driving me nuuuuuts!"

I do that a lot while in the car: "Oh excuse me? You did not just rip in front of me while I have my kid in the car. No you didn't. I will so track you down and...whoa. Is that seriously that girl's hairdo? What was she thinking going out like that? Like I can talk. My hair is totally....oh. I was supposed to turn back there. that was my house. Oops."

[Sprite's Keeper]

Oh, thank heavens! I was hoping someone would get that. I was actually going to pull this post cuz it went a little out there, but Lisa, you have restored my faith in humanity and perhaps saved a puppy somewhere. Thank you.

[kristina]

Hi ... I have an inner voice that goes on all the time, especially when I'm trying to go to sleep. I actually have conversations with myself. Your mall example is perfect. Been there. Glad you didn't pull the post.