It's going to happen.
John went to see a daycare I liked. He checked it out. He liked it. They have 2 slots left in the one year old room. He wants to transition Sprite soon.
I want to cry.
Yes, I like the new daycare we agree on. Yes, the teachers seem very friendly and professional and the one year old room is even sectioned into 12-18 month and 18-24 month areas which reduces biting and bullying (which runs rampant in most centers). Yes, there's a playground right outside the one year old room and plenty of sand, so we can continue to look forward to daily sessions with the vaccuum. It's also over $100.00 cheaper a month. That's pretty good considering I want to upgrade my Lexus.
But..
My heart is breaking. The teachers at our current daycare have watched Sprite go from blob to slob (watch her eat spaghetti, you'll agree), from just laying there to almost running and proudly asserting herself out on the playground. They have helped to mold her into the independent child with a penchant for mischief that I make fun of in photo essays. (Done with love, of course.)
These teachers were there to see her first attempts at crawling (I happened to be there too, thank goodness) and her first successful steps. They have watched her blossom into who she is and love her almost as much as we do. Sprite knows instinctively where her feet need to take her as soon as we enter the outer office. She has her favorite toys. She has her favorite teachers. (I have mine too.)
Since John works a little farther away, it's usually me who drops her off and picks her up and answers the calls for every little sneeze and misstep. I understand if he's not as attached to the people as I am. I understand that, looking at the budget, John can distance himself from the emotions attached to this transition. Numbers-wise, it makes sense, although sense-wise, the prospect of this change just makes me numb.
I don't want to do this. This is a VERY big deal to me. How will Sprite like it? How will the new teachers like Sprite? How will they like me and my self-depricating snarky behavior? Will Sprite be able to handle the move? Will she adjust to the new faces and places? Will I be able to adjust? This kind of thinking makes me want to hug a blankie or something. My brain hurts with the impact of it.
It's going to happen. The band-aid is going to be ripped off. John has given me a week to make my peace with it, but I want more time, say, until she's ready for kindergarten?
I'm tearing up now. I need to toughen my shell and be a rock for my daughter to cling to when she experiences it, but who am I going to cling to? This is a first I didn't want to see happen, but it is going to. We will survive this. Sprite will make some new friends. I will write about new complaints other than missing diapers and pink eye suspicions. Life will continue on for Sprite in her journey through daycare. The scenery may change a little, but we'll get there.
(Someone hold me!)
Okay, here's a hug *HUG". It will be all right. Most likely she will transition better than you will and best to do it now rather than later when she realized what's really going on. Ever try to get a 4 year old to transition? Not a fun experience to deal with. Sprite seems really resilient. You should take her to visit the place first and see how she reacts. You'll be surprised and it will help you transition better as well.
Posted by: Heidi | June 03, 2008 at 11:18 AM
Oh hell ... you got me all misty.
I can totally 100% relate. I had to change my Noodle's daycare when I moved from one city to another, because the day care was by my old house (very great place, but also very out of the way from my commute). I was heart broken. I had bonded with these wonderful care givers for 18 months. But ... lucky for us, kids at their age are very forgiving and adaptable. And ... the new location is usually so bent on impressing you, and you so charged with the excitement of the new digs and her new tricks and experiences ... time flies on by and keeps you moving ahead.
Good Luck. You are great parents. You will make the perfect decision. :)
Posted by: PrettyNeato | June 03, 2008 at 01:16 PM
Oh hell ... you got me all misty.
I can totally 100% relate. I had to change my Noodle's daycare when I moved from one city to another, because the day care was by my old house (very great place, but also very out of the way from my commute). I was heart broken. I had bonded with these wonderful care givers for 18 months. But ... lucky for us, kids at their age are very forgiving and adaptable. And ... the new location is usually so bent on impressing you, and you so charged with the excitement of the new digs and her new tricks and experiences ... time flies on by and keeps you moving ahead.
Good Luck. You are great parents. You will make the perfect decision. :)
Posted by: PrettyNeato | June 03, 2008 at 01:17 PM
great. I'm all misty too. I can totally relate. Several months ago we thought we were going to have to move Jonathan from where he goes now. It worked out that we didn't. But the whole time I just kept thinking about all the milestones he had reached there and how far he had come with relating to other children, etc. I was beside myself with worry. I hope it all works out. Please keep us updated.
Posted by: Lisa | June 04, 2008 at 03:51 PM