(Actual commercial seen last night while I was on minute 34 running at a speed of 5 and elevation of 1. The remote control was beyond my reach. )
Scene opens. A young teacher, with definite Jessica Alba-esque features, is instructing her bright-eyed pupils in baking cupcakes for Valentine's Day, but since they're in math class as well, they might as well learn a few things. Out come the flour, eggs, milk, vanilla, measuring cups, spoons, etc, the grocery store logo innocently in view as they lift each quality item. The kids are having fun. The teacher is oohing and aahing over their careful measurements as they mix the ingredients together. The teacher lovingly places the pans into the oven. Cut to the kids decorating their cupcakes in shades of pink, red, white. Sprinkles everywhere. They proudly place the cupcakes on the table to show the teacher, infectious giggles filling the air. She leans in and reads aloud, "Look outside". She looks at the children questioningly, and goes over to the window to see out onto the perfect manicured school courtyard where a handsome man steps out from behind a majestic oak tree with flowers in one hand and an engagement ring in the other. Her eyes steeped with tears, her smile tremulous, she turns back to see her kids grinning broadly back at her, obviously a part of the whole scheme. End Scene.
(Sniff, snuffle)
Bastards.
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