Every morning, I bring Sprite to daycare. Every morning, I sit with her for a couple of minutes to get her comfortable with her classroom. Every morning, I kiss her goodbye and tell her I will be back to get her as soon as my workday is over.
Every morning, I leave her with a teacher and make my way to work, assured of her safety and confident I will return to find her exactly as I left her, knowing I am two miles away if she needs me.
On January 25, my confidence was shaken.
In neighboring Cape Coral, a man, estranged from his wife who was seeking a restraining order against him, forced his way into a daycare center where she taught and gunned her down in front of her young students. Their own young daughter was in a classroom down the hall when it happened.
After he finished his violence (no one else was touched), he calmly allowed the police to arrest him. He had done what he intended to do.
Parents rushed in from all over upon hearing the news. I myself did not hear about it until that night when we were picking Sprite up from the babysitting program at our daycare. Teachers were talking about it. Parents were talking about it. The tone was third person shock. "I'm horrified it happened, but it can't happen here."
For days, the news programs covered it. Why did it happen? Who was affected? They were interviewing young children, barely old enough to recite the alphabet. Reporters pelted them with questions like "What did you see? How did you feel?" Parents were caught on screen pushing their kids to answer these questions with "The monster came in and hurt the lady..." I was horrified by this. I was even more horrified by the parents' willingness to subject their already traumatized children to such blatant exposure.
The ruckus has died down since then. I haven't seen anything about it in a couple of days since they announced funeral arrangements for the unfortunate woman who was trying to protect herself and her daughter from his torment and paid such a high price for it.
Day cares have posted their security policy since then in a more noticeable area. Our own daycare center has always required a pin number to be able to access the inner building where the children are. Our daycare center is also assuring parents that all exits have been checked and their security verified. No one other than parents and pre-approved visitors are allowed to access the center.
This is a reassurance. However, in the back of my mind, I wonder about the "what if"s. What if something like that were to happen at Sprite's school? What if she were caught in the middle of it? What if I never see her again?
For me, being a working mother brings up the usual fears and concerns of not being able to be there for milestones, being accused of not loving my daughter enough to make staying at home work out, and the like. But my biggest fear is having my daughter's future yanked from my control, not being able to protect her when she needs me most. This is when the thought of being just two miles away is just too far.
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