About Me

Hi there. My name is Jen, although sometimes I go by Sprite's Keeper, Sprite's mom, SK (trendy!), or just "you". Not YOU you, but ME you.
This page is about me, in fact this entire website has pretty much turned into the portal of my opinions, which can go bad, which is why the FDA mandated an "expiration" date on all my drivel and my comments only stay open for 2 weeks on any given post. Their shelf life isn't very good beyond that point. (Just looking out for you.)
So here we go with my likes and dislikes (because I somehow feel this is expected of me):
I like long tangents, short stories, distractions, laugh out loud moments, big words, bigger meanings, and the occasional looks of confusion I get when I decide to let people in on my inside jokes.
I like rhyming, but dislike it as well. I am one of those people who will keep rhyming until I fall apart in frustration or find a word that I can't rhyme. (I could say I've sought medical help for this, but we'd both know I'm lying.)
Surprisingly, I also like working under pressure (for some reason I am an 11th hour genius, but only at 11. If you get me at 10, I'm totally phoning it in.), and the occasional argument. (John is not a fan of these..)
Passionate by nature (thanks, Mom), practical by design (thanks, Dad), and loving every minute of the minutia (thanks, John and Sprite), I enjoy experiencing the little nuances that make people/kids/dogs/clocks tick and then dissecting the hell out of it until it no longer resembles what it was supposed to be. Some people think this is a bad thing...
I dislike long pauses in conversation. (which always turns into me filling the space with my own words as if that will save it and end up going way overboard and telling almost perfect strangers about that one time I fainted in the back of the high school auditorium because I didn't eat a cracker. True story.) (Shit, I did it again.)
Okay, about the "shit": I dislike written profanity and try hard not to curse on this site. When you see any profanity, it is strictly inserted only because it works in the story being told or if I repeat conversations verbatim. Otherwise, I tend to stick to the friendlier curse words like "Damn" and "Hell" and "Shenanigans". So, if you catch a curse that makes you lift your brow in condemnation, please know I'm not using them for shock value. Or maybe I am. Meh. Go with what you want.
A complete departure from the above statement, I can and will curse verbally when the mood suits me.
I'm not a fan of alcohol despite repeated attempts to swill at will, and hate cheesecake.
I love mint and caramel and have spent hours upon days trying to pair them together with chocolate. No success so far, but I'm not giving up yet. (Damn you, mint! Why must you be so polarizing?)
If I could buy stock in parentheses, I would.
I still hold the opinion that Glades should make a Clorox Clean Up scented candle. (It makes every mess look a little less FEMA targeted.)
I snark at commercials a lot.
I sometimes call John at work to snark at him about commercials.
John screens his calls.
Sometimes, I call from my office phone to get around his screenings.
This works about 50% of the time.
Of course, John sometimes answers his cell phone by saying, "Papa Johns", so I think we're even.
I once had the dream of creating a blog and naming it "Living Life Within the Parentheses" and then making the content nothing but tangents. I finally settled for a post in which I ran the longest tangent ever on Laughing Cow cheese. (Guinneuss never returns my calls.) (Probably because I keep misspelling their name.) (YOU look it up.)
Other than that, I'm normal! Or, at least, my kind of normal.
So, have a look, enjoy, snark at will, and tolerate the tangents for they are long and plentiful.
Read responsibly!